


Shinsengumi Lovers Alliance

by hazel_winchester



Series: Kagura's Gintama Arc [3]
Category: Gintama
Genre: F/M, Humor, Kagura's Gintama Arc, Rivals to Lovers, Romance, Shinsengumi - Freeform, Yorozuya Family, yato - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 15:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17810630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazel_winchester/pseuds/hazel_winchester
Summary: Even after Kagura and Sougo started dating there were more trouble standing on their way... Like Baldy trying to force Kagura to marry someone and Yorozuya with Shinsengumi trying to stop it, while hiding it from Sougo, well you can guess what happens when he learns though... Follow our hero's to see... First arc has ended, Second arc is under question...





	1. When you were told to not believe when said that the end in Gintama is never the end, because it always starts over, you should have believed.

Yorozuya.

"Oi, what kind of a lame as name is it?" Gintoki said with a disgusted face. "Why is those damn tax robbers name is on the title? Change! Change!"

Kagura bit on her sukonbu agreeing. "Why should those bastards be involved? This is a sequel to my arc, aru~ Put my name in it!"

"You both should calm down, that is just a name. In Gintama names and titles don't make any sense anyways." Shinpachi said fixing his glasses.

"NO WAY!" Other two members of yorozuya shouted. Gin-chan sat back shouting, while scratching his head. "I won't accept it! As a main hero I won't accept it! Let's think of a good name."

"W-wait, Gin-san we can't change it at this point." Megane tried to stop him troubled, but perm head was already sitting beside him, arms crossed over his chest with serious face, Kagura copied his actions.

"Let's call it, Yorozuya against the world, no rules the world. No, no better Yorozuya forever!" Gintoki said with excitement.

"We can't do that Gin-san, that's the title for a second movie, this will be a plagiarism." Shin shouted.

"Then make it Yorozuya is way cooler than tax robbers, so take them out of the Gintama." Gin said with a troll smile.

"AS IF WE CAN DO THAT!" Shin-chan shouted.

Kagura jumped up happy. "I know. I know! Let it be: Chronicles of China: Kagura in magic closet against a witch with her husband lion and their son Caspian against a white witch with her ugly army, where fight happens and everyone die and Kagura becomes the queen of the world!"

"THAT'S TOO LONG!" Both men shouted.

"No one will accept that as a title. Besides this is the plagiarism, you just changed and added few words, but everyone already realized what it is. No!"

"Moo~ so stingy!" Kagura pouted. "Then it could be: Kagulight: New moon after the eclipse while braking dawn."

"NO!" Megane screamed anger marks all over his face. "Stop taking the titles of movies and changing them for your own convenience!"

"But those movies are popular maybe we will be popular too." China said with the most innocent voice.

More veins popped at Patsuan's head. "We won't be popular! We will be canceled for plagiarism! Canceled!"

"But anyways, this is unfair." Silver samurai said while picking his nose with dead fish eyes. "Author-idiot-san, already finished Kagura's arc with OkiKagu and from that useless extra everyone already realized that they are together. So why in the world do you need a sequel? What it will be about?"

"Eh? Gin-san what are you saying, she has already consulted with us and we even agreed to this. Don't you want to do this?" Megane looked at the older yorozuya confused.

"Not, that I don't want it Patchy. But what kind of a sequel can come after, two main characters start dating? OI, DON'T YOU DARE TO TURN THIS INTO SOME CRAPPY SHOUJO MANGA! I don't want to run after those brats and watch them break up and make up all the time, while being worried about why they're crying with those long, badass love triangles and long, boring monologues. Next thing you know, some OC will appear and you will make me run from one girl to another not being able to chose like in some harem." Perm head shouted.

Water drop fall over Shin-chan's head as he tried to calm his friend who was spouting nonsense. "Gin-san, you should be saying that about manga's you know. You will hurt their fans."

Gin sat there with bored look as he finally took whatever was he looking for from his nose and throw it towards Sadaharu. "Besides, why should this brats have one to many stories while I as a main hero, work as a secondary character in here."

"SO THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT!" Shinpachi shouted furious at the older man.

"No way Gin-chan, this is a sequel to my arc. Meaning I am the main character!" Kagura said triumphal.

Gin picked his ear this time. "This whole Gintama fan fiction appeared because I was such a great main hero in the actual anime, if I'm gone this fics will fall. So hey, useless author change the characters, make this a story about me and me alone."

The last of Patsuan's patience broke apart. "Get off of your high horse! None of you have the right to talk! You two not only have a main spot on the actual anime, there are many fan fictions about you, while so few for me. Why no one writes about me more? What's so good about that damn sadist of a captain, Mayora, gorilla, this good-for-nothing perm and two violent Yato's?!"

Patchy, what kind of a problem you have with Okita and the other popular characters.

Gin put his arms over his head relying on the back of the sofa more. "The answer is simple Patsuan, no one want a plain, ordinary glasses for a main character. That's to boring."

I'll kill both of you! Shin-chan thought with the kill intend.

"You shouldn't be jealous Gin-chan!" Kagura stood up putting her leg on the table she said with mighty voice. "You might be a hero of Gintama and ranked first in the popularity charts, but in fan fiction world I'm the queen. With OkiKagu at the top of the charts, I rule the fan fiction world. So let's make an alliance you in Gintama and I in fan fiction world."

"You're wrong Kagura." Gin said with bored voice. "I'm standing alone with an iron foot at the top of the popularity polls, while you're sharing it with Souichirou-kun."

An evil grin was plastered on China's face. "Then I'll just kill him and rule alone."

Gin waved a hand in dismissal. "Nah won't work. Without him there is no OkiKagu and no OkiKagu, means you're down to being a secondary character."

"WILL YOU STOP WITH THIS MEANINGLESS CONVERSATION?! WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE SEQUEL?" Megane started to scream his lungs out.

"While I, even in fanfic's, am popular. There is a lot of stories for me, and some even about crap like love, but it involves cute girls, so let it be." Silver samurai grinned with triumph, while Kagura was pouting.

Yato female grinned, she took out the laptop and opened the Internet typing something then moved to sit next to her guardian. "Too bad Gin-chan, but the one you're paired up with are mostly Hijikata, Takasugi and Zura."

"NANI?!" Vein popped out on Gintoki's head. "Why would I be paired up with a Mayora, Psychopath and an Idiot?" Perm head looked at the camera. "Oi, you fan girl if you're doing stories, do more about me and Ketsuno Ana. Don't match me up with weirdo's."

"Look Gin-chan, I opened fan******.net look at how many there is stories for you and Mayora." China pushed the laptop towards her guardian an evil smirk on her lips.

Gintoki went pale, then purple, then red from anger and then pale again as he shouted. "The hell! What's the big joke? How can you people manage to have such imagination? Where do you get this kind of a plot?" Silver samurai returned to the device in front of him typing something. "Just you wait… I'll definitely find a fic with Ketsuno Ana and me. There should be one…. There should be one…. There should be…. Should be one… one…

[…]

"THERE IS NONE! Why?! Why do people match me only with the amazons, stalker and gorilla women, but what's worse they match me with the men I hate the most. Hell will freeze over before this and that happens."

"But Gin-chan, this is every yaoi fan girls dream you know. Just like OkiKagu having many fans there quite a few for this things. I recommend this Gin-chan, you will like it." Kagura grinned pointing at the screen.

Gintoki heard his patience break apart, but before he could say anything Shinpachi was the one who broke the silence. "ENOUGH! Stop ignoring me you two good-for-nothing idiot father-daughter. If you keep this up no one will be interested and we will be dropped!" Megane kept shouted. "This is a first chapter, we should make an impact you know? Impact! We have to trigger the interest, so many people will start reading this story."

Gintoki picked his nose. "Stop nagging, tell it to that crappy Author, she should write with more impact."

(Sorry, I'm a loser.)

"Ah, look at what you did Gin-chan, she sulking in the dark corner planting mushrooms." Kagura said biting on her sukonbu.

"NANI?!" Silver samurai shouted. "Why is that crappy Author is always sulking? What do you want me to do? Come and sing you a lullaby?" After a second he shouted with irritation. "Don't even think about it!"

"I see you're as lively as ever. So much fun everyday, I'm envious." Otae said from a doorway as she was smiling with her usual don't-care-about-the-world-I-should-keep-smiling face.

"Anego!" Kagura shouted happily as she run to the older woman's side with a huge smile.

Shinpachi looked at his sister surprised before approaching the two women. "Aneue? Why are you here?"

"Author-san, 'promised' me that I'll be one of the important characters in the sequel so I came. So do you guy already know what is the sequel will be about?" Otae approached the yorozuya.

You threatened her life. You almost killed the author. Two men thought, but remained silent.

"No, we were just discussing that. Do you know what it is about Aneue?"

Otae shook her head with a smile. Gin started picking his nose again saying. "It will probably don't have any plot." Getting everyone's attention he continued. "I mean in that arc it did start like a Kintama spin off, but then it changed into Sadist vs. Psycho, after that it was kidnapping and Sadist work with Psycho. So it's useless for this as well. Just drop it, drop it! No one will like this."

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Shinpachi shouted. "Well, I agree that Kagura's arc changed it's plot many times, but it was not that bad and it's not for you to decide to keep this arc or no, Gin-san. If readers will like it, then it will go on, if not the Author will stop. Why are you so against this arc?"

"Huh?" Silver samurai said with pissed voice. "Look at this Patsuan, first this arc is named with the name of those bastard's, then it will again have more Kagura and Sougo, than me."

"That's your only problem, isn't it, you good-for-nothing selfish character?" Shinpachi looked at the older man with empty eyes.

"And lastly, this is already the end of first chapter, but all we did is talk, so no way that this is going to work."

"My, my he's right." Otae smiled.

"THAT'S YOUR FAULT, YOU WENT ON WITH A STUPID CONVERSATION'S NOT LETTING THE ACTUAL PLOT BEGIN. DO YOU ACTUALLY HATE THIS THAT MUCH?"

While Shinpachi went on shouting and nagging the door to the room opened suddenly and there was a really fat woman, with pink kimono and black hair standing there. Woman just stood there looking at everyone.

"Gin-chan we have a ham at the door, can we eat it? I'm hungry." Kagura said holding her stomach that started rumbling.

"Go ahead, go ahead. But fry it good, we don't want to get any weird diseases." Perm head said with serious voice, Kagura checking which frying pan would fit the big ham in.

"DON'T DO THAT!" Sliding fast Shinpachi first crashed Gintoki's then Kagura's head against the table. Then he returned to the woman with a polite smile. "I'm sorry you must be a customer, please come in."

"My… My…" The woman started mumbling, her bangs hiding her eyes. "MY DREAM GUY!" Pig woman shouted, with eyes shining, and jumped at Gin-chan trying to hug him.

Silver samurai's eyes went wide and he jumped away just in time for the woman to crash into the couch breaking it. She then stands up fast and looked at Gintoki, two red hearts beating in her eyes.

"Same beautiful silver hair, that amazing perm and those dead fish crimson eyes. You're him; you're him, my one and only prince from my dreams. This must be a destiny!" She shouted again and tried to jump him, but Gintoki started to run away.

"Oi, you ham stop chasing me, I don't ever remember being destined with a pig!" Gin-chan shouted while running away. "Shinpachi, Kagura help me!"

Both younger yorozuya looked at him with dead fish eyes, none taking actions. Otae was still smiling when she said. "It's looks like your complaining made Author-san angry. See she's punishing you."

"I DON'T WANT THIS! Hey, useless two cent Author, I agree let it be an OkiKagu and even let's keep the name. Make it a Shoujo like or a Harem with Amazons, but… but… MOVE THIS PIG AWAY!" Perm head shouted while running in circles around the room, with pig chasing him.

It looks like I have no choice. Gin-chan though and moved near Otae putting his hand over her shoulder. Kids looked at him shocked, while Otae's expression didn't change. Woman stopped chasing and looked at the two surprised.

"Sorry, but I'm already engaged to her. I can't be your destiny." Silver samurai said with a cool voice.

"Eh, no way!" Pig squealed. "I don't believe you."

"Where do you think you're touching, Gin-san?" Otae said with smiling face slowly, but there was a vein popping on her cheek while she pinched Gintoki's hand.

Yorozuya moved his hand screaming with pain, the returned his attention to Tae-chan, also vein now popping out on his face. "What the hell are you doing, you raised by Gorilla's Amazon?"

Mrs. Gorilla kept smiling. "You shouldn't say useless things about people Gin-san, when have I ever agreed on marrying you?"

"You damn woman! Will it kill you to play along? I helped you with that gorilla didn't I?" Gin-chan shouted.

Otae put her hand on her cheek. "That Gorilla is still stalking me, so you didn't finish your work."

More veins popped on his face as he shouted. "THEN WHAT?! YOU GO OFF DATING GORILLA'S AND I'LL START DATING PIGS. THEN WE WILL HAVE LOTS OF LITTLE GORI'S AND HAM'S RUNNING AROUND THE PLACE. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?"

But before Otae could retort back with a smile, Ham woman smiled triumphal. "Heh, I knew that it was a lie. My sweet Silver knight will never date such an ugly woman."

"What did you say you pig?" Otae cracked her fists moving towards the woman with gangster like face.

Gintoki sigh with relief, hopefully they will be so busy that he can run away.

Door to the room opened once again and this time it was a really handsome guy, with black hair and green eyes that stand there. He was looking like one of the Final Fantasy characters.

Oi, this is not a cross over, you idiot! Gin-chan thought while making sure Author heard it.

"Please mother, stop this. We're here for something else." Boy said to the pig, but woman didn't stop being busy fighting with Tae.

The yorozuya trio's eyes went wide. "She is your mother?"

"What's wrong with your genes? Why do you have a ham for a mother?" Kagura said looking from mother to son.

As the guy saw the young Yato girl he smiled brightly and hugged her shouting. "Kagura-chan, I've been looking for you. I missed you!"

That shocked everyone in the room. Kagura hit the guy with all her power making him jump away letting her go. "Who the hell are you bastard?" China shouted.

Boy kept smiling while looking at her. "How mean Kagura-chan, don't you remember me? I'm actually hurt."

Kagura lose her grip on her umbrella and looked at the guy carefully suddenly shouting with a smile. "Shun-chan?"

"One and only." Shun smiled back getting closer.

"Eh? Kagura-chan you know him?" Shin asked.

"Yeah, he is my childhood friend." Kagura smiled brightly at her fathers and then back at the boy. "What brings you here Shun-chan? I haven't seen you since I run away from home."

"I've been traveling and last month I met Kamui-san, he told me where you are so I came here." Shun said with a smile.

"So you came to visit me? I'm so glad, I missed you."

Boy shook his head. "Not only for a visit Kagura-chan. Next month is your birthday, right? So I came to fulfill our promise."

That shocked the Yato girl, making her confused. "Eh? Promise? What promise?"

Shun pout being a little hurt. "So you don't remember. Kamui-kun said that this might happen. Oh, well read this you will know." Yato guy gave her a paper.

Opening it Kagura read out aloud. "I princess of Yato, Kagura, 6-years-old, swear to be married to Shun-chan, 9 years-old, upon my 16th birthday. If I break this promise let my head go bald."

After a second Kagura shouted. "MARRIED?"

Everyone's face went pale, but Shinpachi still said. "B-b-but this was written when you were kids right? It's just a children's play, beside how can it be written without a single mistake?"

"Oh, that's because of this, read the ending." Boy commented.

Kagura still twitching from confusion and anger looked at the bottom of the paper. "Written and confirmed by K-Kamui. So if any of you disagree, I'll kill you."

"She we even put our signs in here." Shun smiled as he added.

Countless veins popped on Kagura's head as she shouted. "KAMU-NII, YOU'RE ACTUALLY INVOLVED IN THIS TOO, BASTARD!"

 

* * *

 

Harusame ship.

Achoo.

Kamui sneezed still keeping his smiling face and his antenna twitching. Abuto looked at him frowning. "Did you catch a cold? Can idiot's even catch a cold?"

"I'll kill you! No, it looks like Kagura-chan is talking about me." His smile became brighter.

Abuto looked at him with empty look thinking. How can you even feel it, from this distance?

 

* * *

 

Yorozuya.

Sweat run down Gintoki as he looked at Patsuan mumbling. "P-p-patchy, when is Okita-kun coming back?"

Shinpachi looked at the older samurai. "He's on a far mission, so he will be back in another 5 days."

"Then lets hope that this arc is over… No, lets do everything for it to be over in 5 day, because if he comes and learns…"

"B-but Gin-san it can't be over in that time. I mean is it even possible, this not a one-shot." Shin gulped down.

"I know Patsuan, but if we don't get over with it till the time he comes back and learns about his girlfriend and his new found love rival I don't think we will survive till the movie 2 release." Perm head mumbled with more sweat. "And that guy turned out to be really possessive and a jealous type."

Patchy gulped hard, remembering what happened at the extra, when because of that damn Gorilla, Kondo Isao's, misunderstanding he was almost killed for letting Kagura in his room. (She just barged in there though.) It took him forever and million seconds of hell to prove that he was not at fault.

A dark and gloomy aura fell upon the Yorozuya family; even Otae had her two fingers up the pig's nose and was smiling while she also was under the gloom of the room. Well, only Shun kept smiling.

 

* * *

 

Some room far away.

Sougo and Yamazaki were on a stake out for a terrorist member that was last seen around this town. Zaki was eating his anpan while looking at the street and inside apartments with binoculars, while Sougo was relying on a wall and sleeping with his favorite sleeping mask and headphones on.

Achoo. Achoo. Achoo.

"Eh? Captain Okita, did you catch a cold? Should I buy you a medicine?" Yamazaki looked at his superior a little worried.

Sougo take out his mask and whipped his face with his sleeve, while sitting up his usual poker face on. "Nah, China must be plotting something."

Zaki looked at the man with empty eyes. How can you even tell from such a distance?

Sougo put his mask back on and returned to his sleep. Damn you China, what are you planning?


	2. If you're trying to trick someone then at least make sure to look around because he might actually be standing right behind you.

It was another rainy day; everything was covered with gray colors. A young boy with black hair was sitting on the stairs and crying as a young girl with vermilion hair, purple umbrella and yellow coat approached him.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Little girl asked. Boy just shook his head sniffing as it trying to hide his tears and thankfully they were hidden since it was raining. Girl put her parasol over their head to cover from the rain. "Did they bully you again?"

Little boy nodded shyly. Girl frowned. "Don't worry when I grow up I'll beat the crap out of them and protect you, okay?"

Little boy looked up at the girls blue eyes. "Really?" Girl smiled and nodded. Then the guy jumped hugging her. "I love you Kagura-chan! Lets be together forever."

 

* * *

 

Yorozuya.

"That's the story." Kagura pointed out with a nod and serious face her arms crossed over her chest as the cloud above her disappeared.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Shinpachi shouted immediately. "WHY DID YOUR FLASHBACK STARTED WITH THE OPENING AND IT EVEN PLAYED THE ENDING AT THE END! WE JUST STARTED 3 MINUTES AGO!"

"I just thought that it will make more point like that aru~"

"IT WON'T! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT CLICHÉ CHILDHOOD PROMISE SCENE AND WHY ARE YOU THE ONE MAKING PROMISE. WHAT KIND OF ENVIRONMENT HAS YOU GROW UP IN?"

"Eh? But that what always happens in Shoujo manga right? Isn't this why we're doing all this?" Kagura looked at him confused.

"WE'RE NOT! GINTAMA IS NOT A SHOUJO, SO MAKE UP SOMETHING ORIGINAL FOR YOUR BACKGROUND STORY!" Megane glared at the young girl.

"Hmm…" Kagura went to the deep thoughts. "Ah, then like this…" Another cloud appeared above her head opening starting to play.

Patsuan shook away the cloud shouting. "WHY ARE YOU GOING AT IT AGAIN? AND WHY DO YOU START WITH AN OPENING?"

This time it was China who glared at him. "Make up your mind Patchy, you just told me to make up a new story."

"I DID NOT!" With a sigh to calm himself down Megane sat down fixing his glasses. "Now to the actual point…"

"Isn't this great Gin-san, our children are in love, we're in love. This is fate!" Pig said with her eyes shining.

Perm head moved away from her putting Otae between himself and the woman, so she won't jump him. "No, no, no. As I told you I was busy. See she is the one, so sorry and good bye!" He showed her to the door.

"Please Gin-san." Otae smiled at him. "Don't use me in your dirty lies and take responsibility." She stepped aside from in between the two.

Vein popping out Gintoki shouted. "DAMN YOU WOMAN CAN'T YOU AT LEAST PLAY ALONG FOR A WHILE! AND WHAT RESPONSIBILITY? I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS PIG!"

Pig smiled with happiness getting closer. "Ah, Gin-san, you're running away from your feelings, but don't worry my love will overcome everything for you and we will be together forever." Woman jumped at him, but he run away this time hiding behind Sadaharu.

Ham did run after him, but Sadaharu being hungry and thinking of her as food bite her head, gaining a smile and thumbs up from Gin-chan. Perm head sigh with relieve as he sat back in his working table when the woman somehow escaped the dog and run to him, this time he used his Jump to block her and send her flying.

Pig sits up looking at him hopefully. Another Sa-chan is being born it seems. "Oh, Gin-san I knew you were lying about being with that Gorilla woman, you belong to me. Come Gin-san let's go to out happy life." She opened her arms wide.

Vein popped out on his face. "As I said, I'm busy, go find someone else!"

"I refuse to believe that you're with that woman! She is not even pretty I am way cutter!"

"GIN-SAN IS MINE!" Someone shouted and then suddenly a ceiling crashed with purple haired girl falling right on Gintoki's lap.

She looked up at him slightly blushing a pink background behind her. "Gin-san we're destined to be together, so choose me, your one and only love. I'll save you from that pig and then we can."

Getting more pissed silver samurai stood up sending Sa-chan flying, so hard she crashed to the wall. But she sits up quickly and while her nose bleeding she was still surrounded by that purple aura. "Yes, Gin-san play with me hard. You know how I like it. Be rough with me. Do whatever you want with me~"

Sa-chan shouted with happiness as she jumped and flew right inside Sadaharu's mouth. "Gin-san? Where are you? Is this a new game? Kya~ I'm getting so turned on!"

"Che, one trouble after another." Gin sat back with more annoyance.

This time it was pig looking at him hopefully with butterflies and disgustingly pinks background like a teenage girl. "See my white knight! Only I shall be your true destiny!"

He stopped her with her foot, pushing his foot hard against her face trying to keep her away. "I said I don't like pigs! Stay away you damn beast!"

Woman straightens up looking at him as if pouting. "What lie are you going to tell now? Do you actually mean those women are your lovers? Hah, not believing. You're just shy admitting your love for me."

Gintoki shouted his patience starting to tear. "No way, I don't like those kind of Amazon's who can't even help when needed."

"Eh? Then who's your type?" Ham looked at him confused. Sa-chan got her head out of Sadaharu's mouth and listen carefully with Tae still smiling.

"I like blonde women with perfect body, big boobs, scar over her face that actually makes her more beautiful and who get crazy when drunk!" Gintoki shouted.

"I can become someone like that for you my knight!" Ham-pig woman said with pleading eyes.

"No, thank you! I already have one like that!" Perm head said with irritation.

"Are you talking about me, Gintoki?"

Everyone looked at the source of the voice, just to see Sa-chan wearing a blonde wig with scars over her face drawn by the marker. She was acting drunk as she hugged Gin's arm rubbing herself against him.

"Gin-san so I'm your perfect women?" Poor imitation of Tsukky said slightly blushing.

Gintoki's bangs were covering his eyes as he picked her up in his arms and started walking away from the group.

"Gin-san?" Sa-chan asked blushing.

Silver samurai opened the window and threw the women in his arms outside then closed the window behind him and returned back.

"My, my Gin-san…" Otae said with a smile putting her hand on her check. "So you're cheating on me?"

Another vein popped out on his forehead and he shouted. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN CHEAT? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO REFUSED TO HELP ME AND SAID WE'RE NOT DATING!"

"Otae-san~" Another male voice shouted as the floor broke down and gorilla, name Kondo Isao, flew at Shimura female.

"HOW IN THE NAME OF SUGAR LAND DID YOU GET UNDER MY FLOOR AND STOP BREAKING IT. I'LL BE KILLED BY A MONSTER DOWNSTAIRS!" Gin-chan shouted.

"Otae-san, you're my destiny~ you're not with that guy right? You lied right? Otae-san~"

Tae smiled, but then took the bat (I have no idea, from where), with little vein popping on her cheek, but still smiling she started beating the commander of the Shinsengumi. "My, my Gin-san. Call a zoo it looks like a Gorilla just run away and he almost attacked me. Let's castrate it."

"How can you say it with such an innocent smiling face." Perm head said with a dead fish eyes.

"Geez, you're as noisy as ever." Hijikata Toushirou entered the room, cigarette between his lips and frowning. "Kondo-san, we have an important meeting let's go."

"Oh, God!" Ham looked at Toushi her eyes shining with little pink heart in them. But then she looked at Gin and turned away covering her mouth as if crying. "Oh, no! What do I do? I have my Gin-san and yet now… Towards Toushi, I…"

"Oi, how do you know my name?" Hijikata commented approaching the group.

"Gin-san or Toushi, who should I choose… No, no, no. Gin-san is my one and true love, but after everything that happened between me and Toushi I…"

"Nothing happened we just met 30 second ago." Mayora was getting pissed.

"I'm such a low woman, what do I do know? Between the two who will I?"

"Why does it sound like a monologue of a high school girl who just realized she was involved in a love triangle, is this a Shoujo are you turning this into one?" Gintoki said with bored tone.

Ham grabbed Gintoki's kimono clinging on it and looking at him with teary eyes. "Gin-san, I'm sorry. I love you, but Toushi he is precious to me too. After what he did for me..."

Hijikata shouted. "AS I SAID WE JUST MET! WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS SOUND LIKE ALREADY 50 VOLUMES OF MANGA PASSED WHEN IT'S JUST BEEN ONE MINUTE?"

At that Gintoki had an idea that he smiled like a devil. "Oh, well I can give you an answer. Here…." He took her hands of himself and pushed her towards Hijikata. "You're a perfect couple. Be happy forever with lots of little mayo loving pigs."

"Eh? Gin-san, are you so heart broke that you… Gin-san I'm sorry!" Pig cried coming to her own conclusions. (Honestly, what's wrong with her head?)

"DON'T MATCH ME WITH A PIG YOU DAMN YOROZUYA! AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN PERFECT COUPLE. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER." He grabbed perm head by collar coming face to face with him. "Heh, don't you know Yorozuya bastard? In Shoujo most of the time heroine end up with the guy she met first. Unlucky you idiot!" Toushi smirked.

Silver samurai grabbed the other man by collar too. Their foreheads touching as he started to shout. "Oh, don't worry Oogushi-kun, I'll make sure to step aside your happiness is important."

"LIKE I'LL BE HAPPY WITH A PIG!"

"But you suit each other! Haven't you read the last volume of Gintama manga? Maybe she is you in woman's body." Gintoki smirked.

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOROZUYA!" Hijikata shouted.

"No, Gin-san… Toushi… Please don't fight for me!" Ham pleaded with teary eyes.

"WE'RE NOT FIGHTING FOR YOU!" Both man shouted at her with irritation.

"No, Toushi, I understand I have to give you an answer." Ham pushed at Hijikata's chest a little moving him away from Gin-san.

"No really just stay away." Mayo-freak said with pissed voice.

"I…. I…" She moved closer.

(Don't touch him you b****, he's mine!)

And all of a sudden the woman flew away. Everyone looked at the camera.

"NANI?!" Shin-chan shouted. "Why is the Author interfering with the plot? Is that even okay for you to say that to characters!"

"Oi," Gintoki said picking his ear. "When she is all over me you don't say a word. But when it's Mayora you actually help him. Oi, are you kidding me?"

(No Gin-chan, don't say that. You're my number one, but there's already Tae-chan and other to help you.)

"Don't make me sound like a second choice to him." Vein popped out on Hijikata's forehead.

(No, no. You're not second Toushi I love you both, but you know… Gin-chan… He is…)

"STOP WITH THAT NONSENSE! WHY ARE YOU TALKING WITH THE AUTHOR LIKE IT'S THE MOST NATURAL THING TO DO? AND YOU…" Shin-chan pointed at the camera. "GET BACK TO THE ACTUAL PLOT OR THIS ARC WILL BE OVER BEFORE WE EVEN START IT."

(Sorry, Shinpachi-kun… *pout*)

"Ah, no, sorry I should have shouted like that." Megane said a little shy.

 

* * *

 

Well, then back to the actual plot. Still Yorozuya.

"So Kagura-chan, you should get ready. We should leave." Shun said with a smile.

Kagura bite on her sukobu with uncaring face. "Sorry, Shun-chan, promise is a promise, but I'm already dating someone, so go yourself."

"No, no Kagura-chan. I won't take 'no' for an answer you know." At his words couple of man in black suits entered the room.

Seeing as the small Yorozuya house was now full, Gin and Toushi stopped fighting approaching the kids that were sitting on the couches and Tae right behind them. After a minute with still couple of bruises Kondo also approached.

"Oi, oi, oi! This is an innocent arc you know? This is a children's play, so why is it so serious all of a sudden?" Gintoki said with bored voice as he was scratching his head.

Shun stood up standing in front of his man. "I'm here to take you with me Kagura-chan and I will be it by force or with your own will."

"My, my it reminds me of the first time when we met Kyuu-chan." Otae said smiling.

Kagura also stand up still eating sukobu, but her parasol right there beside her to grab it. "I really like you back in time Shun-chan and I want to stay friends, but as I said I love living here and I already have a boyfriend, even if he is a Sadist I won't break up with him."

"Eh? Kagura-chan could it be that you…" Shinpachi wanted to say, but China continued.

"Dating him means that I can always eat lots of food without paying anything, besides when we're starving in yorozuya I'm always full since those tax robbers stock up pretty well."

"IT'S ABOUT FOOD!" Patchy shouted as always getting angry. "YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OKITA-KUN IS ALL ABOUT FOOD AND THAT'S IT! THEN WHY DID YOU EVEN BOTHER TO DATE! WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU TWO HAVE? IS HE YOUR WALLET OR WHAT?"

Silver samurai patted the younger man on his shoulder. "Don't you understand Patsuan? This is what they call a crush. Of course, you being a virgin and all so you don't know, but they will probably will be over this little thing soon. You'll know if you get a girlfriend."

"Don't say that Gin-san." Shinpachi was down with gloomy aura.

"They will brake up soon, just the way they started it. Those brats have too much free time, they will bore of it soon." Hijikata added.

"Shut up Mayora!" Kagura glared at the man.

Gin-chan nodded. "Yes, yes. Kagura-chan you better go and find yourself a cool and handsome guy who is not a tax robber."

"Like me!" Shun cut in with a smile.

"No, he should not be a killer who will get easily challenged by your idiot brother and who won't shoot people from his bazooka when he is angry or jealous as a matter of fact."

"That's not true Gin-chan."

"You should listen to him and marry me Kagura-chan."

"No, Gin-san, don't say those things in OkiKagu fan fiction you know."

"I'll kill you Danna!"

At that voice and words everyone froze. Sweat run down Gintoki as he gulped hard. "Did any of you just called me 'Danna?'"

"Calm down Gin-chan, everyone of those tax robbing bastards calls you that." Kagura said biting her sukobu and sitting on the handle of the couch.

"Y-yes, but not with the kill intend and words that will make one frightened to death thinking that maybe two of the most terrifying teenagers of the Gintama are here in the same room."

"No, Danna, there is only one."

Everyone turned towards the door as two large man stepped aside making a way for Sougo. Okita was wearing his usual poker face and holding his bazooka over his shoulder. "Yo!" He greeted with bored voice.

"Oh, Sadist you're back." Kagura said uninterested looking at her lover with dead fish eyes. "Che, so you're still alive?"

"Of course China, I won't give you the pleasure of seeing me dead." Sougo answered.

"Yeah, give me the pleasure of killing you myself."

Okita smirked. "No, I'll give you a different kind of a pleasure."

"Sougo, you bastard! What the hell are you doing in here? You should be out on a mission!" Hijikata half shouted with a pissed look, anger marks starting to form.

He waved a hand in dismissal. "Zaki said he could take care of it himself."

"YOU FREAKING LIAR! Yamazaki can't make an arrest everyone knows that, what if we lose the suspect and if Yamazaki dies. Who will I went my frustration on?!"

"Find yourself another punching bag Hijikata-san." Sadist smiled like a devil. "Besides you don't have to worry, I'll send you to the next world to him soon enough."

"YOU SADISTIC MORON!" Toushi shouted.

Sougo put on a poker face. "Putting that aside. Danna?" Okita aimed his bazooka straight at Gin-chan, well both perm head and Mayora were standing close, so he was aiming at two. "What was it you just said about me breaking up with China and her engagement?"

"M-me? N-nothing… How can I say anything?" Gintoki sweat dropped. "I'm actually a big OkiKagu fan you know. I'm supporting you guys, till the end. OkiKagu forever~!" Silver samurai raised his fist to the sky as if symbolically.

Sadist smirked and was about to fire when Shun stepped between him and the other two men. Bakaiser looked at him with deadpanned expression. "Oi, you're in front of my aim. Move or… Oh, well I don't really mind shouting three at once."

"WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SHOOT ME?" Mayora shouted.

Shun smirked at the guy. "So you're the one that Kagura-chan claims that she is dating, huh. Well, you're just an ordinary human, nothing I can't surpass."

Sougo lowered his bazooka arching a brow. "And who are you supposed to be, poor parody of final fantasy? People love DQ more. Oh, by the way, Danna lend me the last one I haven't played it yet." He looked over Shun's head.

"Sure~!" Perm head replied while picking his nose and whipping whatever he found on Hijikata's jacket making the other man glare at him and start to argue.

Vein popping on his face, because he was ignored, Shun moved pass him saying. "I'm Kagura-chan's fiancé and I'll be taking her away soon. So scram before you get your weak ass into trouble." Sougo looked at him with bored eyes, not really caring.

Yato boy then turned around with an innocent smile. "Kagura-chan I'll see you around. I'm not giving up ok!"

"No this is going to be more trouble than necessary, so give up, give up." Shinpachi said while sighing.

"Bye-bye~!" Kagura waved her hand with dead fish eyes.

Shun together with his Ham mother and two big bodyguards left. Pig turning around couple of times to send flying kisses to Toushi and Gin-chan, both men jumped away from them slashing the kisses in two with their swords.

Sougo turned to camera with poker face. "Okay, that's it for the prologue. See you next week."

"Eh? It's already over?" Megane looked confused. "AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN PROLOGUE? WE WENT FOR TWO WEEKS WITH JUST PROLOGUE? AND WHY IS THERE NO OKIKAGU? THIS IS THEIR FIC, SO THERE SHOULD BE MORE OF THEM YOU IDIOT AUTHOR! READERS ARE GOING TO TEAR YOU APART!"

"Keep all your complaints for next week Shinpachi." Gintoki said with dead fish eyes yawning.

(Sorry, if there was not enough OkiKagu, but arc has just started. This was a warm up, so I'll try my best. As long as everyone like it.)

"As long as you keep your promise of me being the lead, everything will be ok." Otae smiled at the camera.

(*Sweat drop* Y-yes Otae-sama! You're going to appear a lot here. Besides, you appeared a lot in Kagura's arc too, since people actually remembered you from Omake's that you forced on me.)

Megane sigh. "Well, let's just hope they will like this. We're really low on the budget you know."

(Um, Shinpachi-kun… This is a fan fiction I don't really get paid…)

 

* * *

 

Ask! Ginpachi-sensei! 3-z class.

"Okay, we're starting the quiz. Everyone pay attention this questions will appear at the finals." Sensei said in his low and tired like voice, while his too much Lollied candy was giving out a smoke making it seem like he was smoking a cigarette.

Otae raised her hand. "What kind of questions will be on the quiz?"

"There will be questions about Gintama titles, episodes and episode numbers, phrases, characters, opening and ending songs, and other things like that. This will test how well you know Gintama!"

Kondo raised his hand. "Sensei! What will be the prize for answering right?"

"This is a fan fiction, we don't give prizes. But they will get a little virtual kiss from Gin-san. So answer if you want to test your skills in Gintama." Ginpachi-sensei pointed at the camera. "Those who don't know the answer go re-read all the volumes of Gintama and watch all the seasons."

"Okay, here is the first question." Sensei wrote of the board. "With the given hints name the Gintama character."

"Here are the hints: That person appeared in three major arcs of Gintama, where Gin-chan prove us that he is really cool 100%. One of the arcs had the first appearance of the super-violent psycho-nii villain and the other two revealed something about Gin-chan's master. That person is also one of the people Gintoki is often paired up with."

"Right answer will be on the next chapter." Ginpachi finished. "Now then, Oogushi-kun who transferred back. Go stand in the hall!"


	3. Forbidden love is always cute, but Tsundere lover is even cuter OR If you ever have a stupid idea to stalk a scary person's girlfriend then at least have guts to face him upfront.

On the roof top of the school a girl with blonde hair and a scar on her face, that was actually suiting her character, was standing on the edge looking at the sunset while the wind was gently caressing her skin.

Door to the roof opened and she looked behind her to see her homeroom teacher Ginpachi-sensei standing there. Sensei grinned approaching the girl. "You shouldn't stand on the edge Tsukyo or you might fall."

"Sensei? Why are you here?"

"Well, I find this little letter in my shoe box and thought it might be yours." Ginpachi waved the letter in front of the girl with a smirk.

Tsukky's eyes went wide and she turned away blushing till her ears. "I-I-it's not mine." She shouted with embarrassment.

Sensei looked at her with dead fish eyes. "Oh, and I was sure that this is your handwriting."

Damn that Kagura! Because she got a boyfriend, now she is getting all excited trying to match all the others. The blonde girl cursed imagining her classmate and friends smirking face.

"I-I said it's not mine. Why would I write a love letter to a useless teacher?" Tsukky shouted still not looking at her sensei.

Ginpachi sensei grinned. "I never said that it was a love letter." At that Tsukyo looked at him wide eyes and turned away again this time her back facing her teacher, so he won't see how red she was. "Ne, Tsukky-chan forbidden love is exciting and it sells well you know?"

"Shut up, perm head. Useless sensei. Idiot!" She shouted.

Playing tsundere, huh Tsukky? It's always cute, but not this time. A little annoyed Gin turned towards the door. "Oh, then I probably should go. You know Sarutobi just confessed to me again and I am kind of getting used to her stalking habits, so maybe I should accept her love. Since this letter is not yours and all."

He started walking when Tsukky grabbed his coat pulling his back. Sensei smirked, but turned around with poker face. Tsukyo was looking at her feet her bangs covering her eyes and her blushing face. "It… It's…"

"Speak up Tsukky-chan, or I can't hear you." Ginpachi got close to her their forehead almost touching.

"It's my letter."

"Oh, so this is yours." She nodded still not looking at the man. "Then lets hear you say it once." He asked with devilish smirk.

Tsukky blushed cursing under her breath. "I… Sensei, I…"

Ginpachi sensei chuckled at how cute she was and gently put his hand on girl's cheek raising her face, so that their eyes will meet. "On the other hand, I already read your feelings, so let me just give you an answer."

Ginpachi sensei kissed her gently, Tsukyo's eyes going wide at first, but then she closed them leaning into the kiss and gripping sensei's coat as he put his arms around her waist and embraced her.

Suddenly the scenery changed. Instead of a rooftop it was now a room, with low and romantic light and double futon prepared for the lovers. Instead of Ginpachi sensei it was Sakata Gintoki, silver samurai and instead of Tsukyo high-school girl it was Tsukky, guardian of Yoshiwara. Yet, there was one thing that stayed the same, they were kissing while embracing each other closer and closer.

 

* * *

 

"Kya~" Sa-chan screamed waking up suddenly from her dream. She looked around in shock as slowly her heat beat calmed down. She was in a small space over Gin-san's bedroom, between the roof of the house and the ceiling of the bedroom.

Leaning she looked down from a small hope she made in the ceiling to see that perm head was peacefully sleeping. She sigh with relief, but then remembered her dream and started shouting. "NO, THAT CAN'T BE! WHY WAS MY GIN-SAN WITH TSUKKY? All that talk about Gin-san's type being someone like Tsukyo and fan girls asking for GinTsukky are making me have weird dreams. NO, NO, NO! I WILL NEVER ACCEPT IT. GIN-SAN IS MINE! ONLY MINE! DID YOU HEAR ME FAN GIRLS DO MORE FICS FOR GIN-SAN AND ME-"

"SHUT UP YOU DAMN STALKER!" Silver samurai shouted throwing his bokuto so that it pierced through the ceiling and made Sa-chan together with the ceiling fall right beside his futon.

Sarutobi sit up right away taking out her pajamas with Gin-chan's pictures on it and while wearing her SM costume kept shouting. "Oh, Gin-san play with me rough. Yes, yes you know how I like it. Chain me up and have your way with me. Be cruel to me more, but I won't give up."

Annoyed, irritated, pissed, sleep deprived and angry Gintoki stood up, rolled Sa-chan in his futon and opening the widow throw her away as far as he could towards the moon. "Why do I have to deal with idiots all day long."

Gin-chan opened the new futon and snuggled in, not letting himself be bothered by how cold the sheets were, since he wanted to sleep. "Okay, enough with the fan service. Get back to the original story." He mumbled falling asleep.

(Honestly, Gin-chan stop breaking the fourth wall.)

 

* * *

 

Kagura was aimlessly walking on the streets of Edo as she run into her beloved Anego and I-can't-stand-man Kyuubei, who always seemed to be with the Shimura female.

Otae smiled at her. "Hi there Kagura-chan. What are you doing in here?"

"Anego! Kyuubei!" Kagura smiled brightly as she approached the two. "I have some free time, so taking a walk. What about you?"

"We're out shopping. We decided to buy something cute for Kyu-chan."

Kyuubei blushed slightly. "Tae-chan, I told you that I'm a man, I don't need to dress up."

"Stop saying nonsense Kyu-chan. It will look cute on you." Otae smiled at the black haired female before turning towards China. "Kagura-chan, if you have some free time, why don't you join us?"

Kagura bite down on her sukobu. "Well, I was going to go and annoy Sadist on his patrol, but this sounds fun too."

After walking for a while and chatting cutely three women entered the shop. One of the workers greeted them with a smile as Kagura run towards the mannequin that was dressed in pretty dressed. She stripped the doll and run to the changing room. "I'm trying this first Anego!"

Otae also looked through the cute dresses and there was one in particular that catch her eye, she grabbed it with happiness and forcing it on Kyuubei she pushed the girl inside the changing room.

"T-Tae-chan, wait. This is to short… It's not for me…" Kyuubei said blushing.

"It will look great on you Kyu-chan." Tae smiled and closed the door to the small cabin.

"Tae-chan let me out."

"Not until you're dressed, or I'll come and dress you myself."

Kyuubei blushed and obeyed eying the dress carefully.

"Anego! Look, look! Wa~ I look so cute!"

Kagura ran out of the changing cabin with a huge smile and standing right in front of the big mirror on the wall she started turning looking at herself. China was wearing a pale pink, spaghetti strap one-piece, short dress with white low heels. Her hair was down and she was also holding a little bag same color as dress.

Otae smiled putting her hand on her cheek. "You look so cute Kagura-chan, Okita-kun will fall for you all over again."

Eyes going wide Yato female blushed and turned her face away. "I'm not doing it for him. I just liked how it looks on me."

"You should be more honest."

"T-Tae-chan?" Kyuubei called out shy as she stick her head out of the changing room. "Umm, I don't think this is a good idea."

"Come out Kyu-chan." Shimura female smiled dragging her friend by her arm, so that she was now out in the open in front of them.

Kyuubei was bushing like crazy as she looked at the mirror and two other women who were looking at her. Yagyuu was dressed in baby blue short dress with cute white ribbon right under her chest and short white jacket like thingy on. She was wearing blue low heels, which she was having a hard time to stand on.

Otae's eyes shine with stars as she looked at the girl. Screaming with happiness. "So cute! Kyu-chan you should definitely dress like girl more."

Kagura showed her a thumbs up. "Cute and famine, not your character, but if you don't change soon your rank is going to fall you know."

"B-but this is too short." Kyuubei pulled at the hem of the dress.

"You should wear this tomorrow." Tae commented her smile on.

China looked at her Anego surprised. "Eh? Is there something going on tomorrow?"

Shimura sibling nodded. "Kyu-chan and I are going to catch a movie and then go to the amusement park."

"It's a date." Kyuubei said with serious voice.

"It's a date with a friend, Kyuu-chan."

Yagyuu female looked at the Yato girl. "We have two extra tickets, want to come?"

"Of course!" Kagura shouted with happiness.

Otae chuckled. "You can also call Okita-kun, you haven't been on any dates lately right?"

"We have never been on date, Anego." China added. "I don't know if he will come, but I'll ask him later."

"Mama, mama I want that white costume~" Little boy shouted pointing to the wall towards the white fluff ball costume that looked like Sadaharu's fur.

"My, my it looks like they sell cosplay costumes here." At Otae's comment the trio looked at each other and smirked.

"I'm Hijikata Toushirou, I have a stupid, weak and coward Otaku living inside me. I'm a nicotine/mayonnaise addict. Give me more mayo! Mayo~" Kyuubei said imitating Toushi.

She was wearing a Shinsengumi uniform with a sword on her left and black wig that looked like Hijikata's hair with turned A as a bang.

"Kondo Isao, useless commander of Tax robbers, I'm the king of Gorilla's and stalkers." This time was Otae pretending to be Kondo.

Kagura stepped in wearing the white female version of Shinsengumi uniform, with long blue hair wig and emotionless expression on her. "I'm Imai Nobume, Vice-commander of high ranked tax robbers I like donuts and I want Okita Sougo's XXX."

"Shouldn't you be more jealous over that?" Kyuubei commented.

China shook her head. "Nope, I like Nobu-chan, she is a pretty amazing girl. You will love her too Anego, when you meet."

And at that note this time they went away to return with a different cosplay. Otae was pretending to be Gin-chan this time, with his usual white with blue kimono, black costume underneath, wooden sword, dead fish eyes and she was even wearing a perm wig to look like the main hero of Gintama.

Otae picked her nose with bored look, imitating Gintoki and that actually made her look exactly like him. "Zura, how can you just walk around like that? If you have time for stupidity, then go back to jail."

Kyuubei has let down her hair and was dressed like Katsura Kotaro. "I'm not Zura, I'm Katsura!" Yagyuu said imitating the idiot Joui.

"I'll keep destroying until the beast stops howling." Kagura talked with Takasugi's voice, dressed like the leader of Kihietai.

They again went away to just return after a minute with new costumes.

This time Kagura was dressed like Kijima Matako. "Kya~ Look at me I'm dirty panties. Oh, no Shinsuke-sama don't look, I change everyday, want to see them?" China said mockingly imitating Matako's voice with disgust and high-pitched tone.

Otae was dressed as Sarutobi. "I'm a super M, psycho who will do anything for Gin-san. Gin-san, do whatever you want~ Break me, hit me, and throw me… I'm out of my mind so it's ok." She shouted with high-pitched voice.

Kyuubei this time was cosplaying Tsukky, she even draw scars with a marker. "I'm always cool and composed, I like to throw kunai at people, especially at Gintoki, since he is always making useless comments. But from the way Gorilla and fans are writing about us, we will be cannon."

And so they went on and on and on. For the last they returned to their own, but messed up the places. Kagura was dressed like her Anego, Otae was wearing Kyuubei's clothes and Yagyuu female was dressed like China. The smiled and chuckled at each other.

Suddenly Kagura spotted really cute underwear in the other section and run there picking it up. "I'm so getting this."

"My, my Kagura-chan, it's so bold." Otae smile as she and Kyuubei approached them.

Kyu-chan looked at the thing China was holding and slightly blushed. "Are you really going to wear that?"

"Yep, with this I'm definitely going to win the bet." Yato female said happily.

"Bet? With whom?" Otae asked slight surprised.

"With Sadist. I hate how he always keeps his cool poker face, while I lose control. So we made a bet that I will make him lose control too. With this he won't be able to keep acting as deadpanned as he used to." Kagura said triumphal and run to the changing room.

Otae smiled at her. "You guys have fun all day long don't you? So good to be young?" Shimura looked at the other girl beside her, just to see that Yagyu was few feet away staring at cute baby blue bra. Tae approached her. "Why don't you try it, Kyu-chan?"

Kyuubei blushed shaking her head. "No, no, no! I-I can't this is for women and I well…"

"You're a girl too Kyu-chan!" Tae grabbed the bra and Kyuubei's arm and dragged her towards the changing room, entering the same cabin Kagura was in.

"Ah, Anego why don't you try this on too." Kagura shouted happily as her beloved Anego entered with Kyu-chan.

"Um, excuse me ma'am. You can't enter the one stall with three people." One of the workers said trouble as she looked at all the mess of clothes women did.

Otae stick out her head smiling. "We'll be buying those pink and blue dresses, thank you." And went back in ignoring any protest that came after wards. From inside the stall cute and innocent shouts, also laughing and giggling could be heard.

 

* * *

 

Near the shop, in the bushes.

"Waka~" Ayumu said filming with the camera what was happening inside the shop with his nose bleeding.

"Otae-san~" Kondo repeated with blissful voice as he was looking through the binoculars inside the shop with his nose bleeding.

"Kagura-chan~" An unknown voice said also nose bleeding and he was not using anything to look inside, he could see it like this pretty well.

Three men looked at each other. And jumped back shouting at the same time.

"Damn you idiots. Are you spying on my Kagura-chan?" Shun shouted preparing his umbrella.

"How dare you stalk my Otae-san, she is only mine!" Kondo was ready to pull out his sword.

"Waka's innocent body, how dare you look at it?!" Tojo shouted.

After shouting for a minute and gaining the stares of people around, they calmed down Kondo finally realizing who was there. He pretty much knew Ayumu, since they always stalk- I mean watch over Otae-san and Kyuubei together when two women go out shopping, but this guy was new.

"Ah!" Kondo beat a fist against his other palm realizing who the guy was. "You're that guy who claims to be Sougo's Girlfriend's fiancé, right? Pun?"

"SHUN! MY NAME IS SHUN, YOU GORILLA ASSHOLE!" Shun shouted. "And it's not Sougo's girlfriend, it Kagura! And she is mine, only mine. That captain can wave her good-bye."

Ayumu nodded. "I see, to get your love from your rival you started to stalk her, I see."

"I'M NOT STALKING HER! I WAS JUST PASSING BY AND DECIDED TO WATCH OVER HER!" Yato boy shouted again.

"Ah, you're still in denial period." Kondo nodded in understanding as he patted the young boys shoulder.

"It's the hardest time. We all went through that, right Kondo?" Ayumu also patted the boy on his other shoulder.

Anger marks appearing on his forehead Shun shouted. "WHY ARE YOU MAKING IT SOUND LIKE I'M A USELESS GUY WHO JUST GOT DUMPED AND I CAN NEVER GET A GIRLFRIEND!"

"We should hold him a welcoming party. After all, the new guy joined us. We should even call that Ninja, Sa-chan." Kondo nodded, both men ignoring the young shouting boy.

Ayumu agreed. "Indeed, there were only three of us till now, but this time it will be four and we don't want problem, so lets introduce him to everyone."

"I SAID THAT'S NOT IT! OI, YOU TWO IDIOTS! LISTEN WHEN I'M TALKING WITH YOU." Realizing that he was completely ignored, Yato boy sigh returning to his looking at his childhood friend.

"Kondo-san, look, look! I even catch some good pictured of Otae-san." Ayumu shows his camera.

Kondo smiled. "Nice job, Tojo-san. Can you send it to me?"

"Sure, do I have your e-mail?"

"Yep."

Water drop fall over Shun as he looked at two men with empty eyes. "Why are you two morons talking like this is the most natural thing and that there is nothing wrong with it? Are you two high school girls exchanging the pictures of the guy you like?"

"What are you doing there?" A foreign bored voice came from behind them. "Oh, peeping on girls in changing room, can I join?"

"No way, this is a private, reserved area, go away!" Kondo waved his hand in dismissal, neither man bothering to look up.

"Oh, come one don't be so stingy. Little peck, I'm sure there is enough for me." Deadpanned voice continued.

"I said…" Kondo looked up at the man intruding on them, his eyes going wide with shock.

"Kondo-san what's the matter?" Ayumu also looked up just to be frozen with fear.

Shun started to turn. "Don't tell me it's the police? Oi, Gorilla you're police, just tell them we're investigating."

"N-n-n-n-n-n-no. China's friend-kun. Its worse than police." Kondo said with shaking voice still looking at the man.

"GET MY NAME RIGHT YOU BASTARD! So who is it?" Shun also looked up and his eyes did go wide with shock.

The worlds number one Sadistic King; Bakaiser Sougo Okita was standing above them, killer aura around him as he was cracking his fists. "Found yourself a new hobby. Fiancé-kun?"

"WHY NEITHER OF YOU REMEMBER MY NAME RIGHT?" Shun shouted and the stand up coming face to face with Sadist. "I'm not afraid of you. Kagura-chan is mine, so I have every right to watch over my future wife."

Sougo smirk like a devil his eyes shining, while screaming with thirst for blood. "You should watch over you lowlife first, one time character-kun. I don't have any problem killing a character who has nothing to do with the series."

"C-come on, Sougo. You know we weren't spying on China girl. I'm here only for Otae-san, just like Tojo-kun for Kyuubei, you know us." Kondo approached the young captain of Shinsengumi sweating and troubled, trying to explain everything.

"Oh, really?" Sougo asked deadpanned reaching his hand towards Ayumu. "Your camera."

"T-this is my Waka's camera, I can't…" He started, but as Sougo started to draw his katana, Ayumu gulped hard handing the little thing over.

Sougo started to go through the pictures one by one. It was not a digital one, so if something were to happen to camera pictures will be gone too. "I have to admit your Waka is cute in that dress."

"No! Don't look!" Ayumu shouted, but was stopped by Okita's foot.

"Oh, so this is the surprise China will use on me tonight." Sadist smirked like a sadist he was.

"She was… It's just… She was standing too close to Waka, that's why I… Well…" Ayumu sweat dropped as he tried to explain.

"Too bad that undergarment is only for me to see." And Sougo broke the camera, crashing it with his fist.

He looked back at three- two men, sitting in front of him, glaring at them. Kondo realizing that girls already exit the shop, run after them, leaving his two 'fellows' in Sadistic captain's hands.

"Kondo you traitor!" Ayumu shouted.

"Hey! Why are you letting him escape, he was stalking and looking at Kagura-chan too." Shun glared at his so-called love rival.

"Wouldn't worry about him if I were you." Sougo said with his usual poker face. "I meet him everyday in the barracks, so I can use this little trick. Besides that guy is so obsessed over Otae-nee-san, that he wouldn't see another woman even if she was naked in front of him." He smiled like a devil cracking his fists. "You on the other hand… So screwed!"

Okita loomed over them making the two men shake when his phone rang. Sougo dig in his pocket with his left hand, but when he saw that his two hostages were trying to escape he throw two ropes cowboy style and catch both men by waist pulling them back. While holding the rope and two men at the end of it with his right hand he picked up his phone with his left.

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO STRONG TO HOLD BOTH OF US WITH ONE HAND? ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN!" Shun shouted, trying his best to run, but both him and Ayumu were out of breath soon.

"Yo!" Sougo greeted whoever was on the other line with deadpanned voice.

'Oi, Sadist, are you still out patrolling?' Kagura asked from the other line slight annoyance in her voice.

Sougo looked at the two men now playing cards sitting away from him, since they can't escape with roped around them that he was holding. "Yep, I just catch two rats and having fun with them." Sadist smirked.

'Whatever.' Kagura waved his words away. 'Tomorrow Anego and Kyuubei are going to the Amusement park and I'm dragging along. They have an extra ticket, so want to come?'

"Asking me on a date, China?" Okita asked with a grin.

'IT'S NOT A DATE BASTARD!' Kagura shouted, so that Sougo has to move the device away from his ear for a second. 'I'm going one way or another. So come if you want.'

"It sounds fun, so sure, why not."

'Eh? But wait tomorrow is not your day off right? Then how…'

Sougo smirked again. "Don't worry China, I have a pretty good feeling that Kondo-san will give me a day off."

Kagura scratched her head and then shrugged. 'Okay, fine whatever. By the way Sadist tonight I'm so going to make you lose the bet. So prepare yourself.' She grinned like a troll.

"We will see about that China." And they both hang up at the same time. He approached the men with devilish aura. "Now as for the pests here."

 

* * *

 

Hotel room.

Shun entered his room. Since he and his mother still didn't have any apartment that they could rent they were living in a hotel.

Pig run to him with worried look. "Shun-chan? What happened to you? Did you get rundown by a truck or an army of elephants?" She asked worried, Shoujo manga-ish voice.

Bangs covering his eyes Shun sat behind the coffee table, his dark aura raising. "I wanted to solve this little problem without hurting Kagura-chan, but that bastard didn't leave me any choice. Let's see what he will do now."

Shun wrote something on the paper and putting it in the convert moved to the door, giving it to his guard to send out to space right away, then he closed the door grinning like devil. "Lets see what you will do now Captain-kun. I don't know how you handled Kamui-nii-san, but with uncle you won't be able to survive."

Ham pouted making a disgusting scared face. "Shun-chan is scary. Mommy is scared." She said with low high school girl voice.

Vein popped on Shun's head, but he didn't say anything, but turned around walking to the bathroom. "I'm taking a shower."

"Oh, well they say you should let kids live their life an learn by their own mistakes." Pig stick out her tongue making a gesture with her hand as if she was in Shoujo. "Now then…" She clapped her hands once and took out a book with a title "Handbook for perfect wives."

"Okay, now I should make delicious bento for my two most favorite samurai, Gin-chan and Toushi." She took out both men's pictures admiring them. "Oh, but I don't know what they like." Ham pouted, but then sat behind her laptop.

In G**gle she typed "Gintama characters profile" and as she found what she wanted she started to look into the profile of Sakata Gintoki.

"Kya~" Ham shouted with happiness. "So Gin-san like sweets, just like me. Kya~ we're so much alike it's a destiny. Destiny!" She shouted the word. "Now lets see Hijikata Toushirou's profile."

As she read it her smile became brighter and her eyes shined with more hearts. "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! He likes sour and I like sweet. We're the total opposites. But opposites always attract to each other, first they fight for their differences and yet if there is trouble they join forces. Eventually they understand that there is no one out there who can understand them better and they have a happy ending."

Pig jumped up and down with excitement. "But…" She stopped looking at two pictures again. "With Gin-san, we're so much alike that it's a destiny. But with Toushi we're the total opposites, which mean we feel attracted to each other and that means this, is also a destiny. No!" She shouted falling on her knees covering her face with teary eyes. "Now I'm more confused than ever. What should I do? In this love triangle whom should I choose? Gin-san or Toushi?"

(*Sigh* THERE IS NO LOVE TRIANGLE, ITS ALL IN YOUR TWISTED HEAD! Besides if we go according to your logic and think that Kagura and Sougo are lovers now because they were rivals, then that means that the one Gin-chan should end up with is Toushi! THEN THIS MAKES IT TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY! *Mumble* not that I'm against it.)

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO INTERFERE WITH THE PLOT? YOU'RE AN AUTHRO! STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!" Shinpachi shouted.

(No, I really think that I broke more than just fourth wall.)

"SHUT UP! AND STOP TALKING LIKE YOU'RE ONE OF THE CHARACTERS!" Megane was irritated more than ever.

(Sorry. *Pout* Well, that's it for now. Bye-bye~)

 

* * *

 

Ask! Ginpachi-sensei! 3-z class.

"Ok, everyone did good in this quiz. Most answered right and received their presents. You know Gintama well. Now for the right answer." Ginpachi said with tired voice, his too much Lollied candy in his mouth.

Sensei started writing on the black board. "The right answer was: Tsukyo (Tsukky.) She appeared in three arcs of Gintama. 1st one is "Yoshiwara in Flames arc." That arc also was her first appearance. Plus in that arc Kagura's psycho-nii Kamui made his first appearance with his nanny Abuto.

2nd is Red spider arc. It was about Tsukky's master, who raised her and while helping her Gin-chan remembers Shoyo-sensei, his own master and their first meeting.

3rd one is Courtesan of the Nation arc. It aired just a while back in season 6. In there Tsukky and Gin-chan work together with many other characters, like Shinsengumi (like always) and Mimawarigumi, plus Kagura, Shinpachi and Shogun with his little sister, to fulfill a promise given between two lovers in the past. It reveals a little of how Shoyo-sensei was killed and their promise with Gin-chan." (After that arc I better understand why Takasugi and Zura want to change this country so much. Using different way, but I don't blame them, not that I ever did.)

Ginpachi-sensei turned to class. "Okay, Tsukyo did appear in a lot more episodes and arcs. Like the Popularity poll arc and Kintama arc, but there were lots of other characters involved too, so don't make yourselves confused with that and this arcs were the once that involved most of her appearance."

"That's it for now." Sensei pointed at the camera. "Oogushi-kun, go clean up the hall."


	4. Sometimes you receive the most important news from the most unimportant person, so treat you enemies and third-rate characters nice, they might come in handy.

Yorozuya.

Gintoki was indeed in a dreamland; he was floating on a big cloud while tearing and eating pieces from it. There was a river of chocolate that he wanted to dig in and drink that tempting, delicious thing to the end. Perm head was preparing to jump inside huge parfait lava when he heard his door getting crushed and someone entering their house.

As an adult he should probably wake up and go check on the intruder, but it was too much bother silver samurai concluded and buried his face in the pillow. Kagura and Shinpachi were both away, Kagura as always sneaking out to go into the Shinsengumi barracks on a secret date and Shinpachi being at his own house, so there was nothing for him to worry about and if that bastard whomever it is wanted his head he could always bother to at least dodge.

A second crash resounded through the room and Gin already realized that whoever it was is inside his room right now. Not bothering to actually open his eyes and check the person's identity, he listed all the possibilities through his mind.

1\. It can't be Kagura because she usually walks in shouting, plus she won't be back till morning.

2\. Sadaharu will right away jump at him trying to bite his head off.

3\. Shinpachi maybe an annoying Megane, but he doesn't break doors.

4\. Otae, was also out of question she wouldn't brake the door, she would brake him.

5\. It also can't be Tama, Catherine or Otose, because he just paid his rent yesterday.

6\. Purple natto ninja was also out of question she never used doors.

7\. Zura, well he might be annoying, but he would annoy you by too much knocking and not by breaking.

8\. Madao also can't be it, he is probably crying somewhere after loosing in pachiko.

9\. It also can't be Tsukky or Kyuubei, since those two never look for him.

10\. Maybe a customer, nah, a customer won't break doors and if he does the Gin-san have to charge him double.

11\. Ok, it can be Sakamoto Tatsuma, the man always did this. No, not him either, Tatsuma would have broken the whole house down and not just the door, beside there was no one laughing.

12\. It can't be Mayora that man has nothing to do here in the middle of the night anyways, unless he and the rest of the Shinsengumi as always came into Yorozuya looking for Zura.

13\. Gorilla was stalking Otae, so he can't be here either, no way.

14\. Sadistic Idiot, Souichirou, was too busy with his girlfriend to bother with him and he would have blow up the place with bazooka.

15\. Well, then all is left is thinking about his enemies. It's not Bakasugi, since the one eye pervert would have killed him right away and not waited.

Geez, I definitely have a whole pack of weird friends. Gin clicked his tongue in his thoughts. That leaves only one person then. Gintoki shifted in his place slowly opening his eyes and looking up only to see the tip of a parasol pointed at his head.

Damn it, I'm screwed.

Silver perm head gulped down, slowly raising his eyes from the parasol that was ready to fire at him towards the man holding the Yato weapon. Gintoki expected to see an annoying smiling face and orange hair, just like Kagura's as he finally looked at his attacker.

Yorozuya's eyes going wide as he saw a gloomy face replace the smile he was expecting and long, lively hair Gin-chan was thinking about was actually black and he was… Bald. Gin-chan's face went pale like sheets as he kept staring at the attacker.

I'm so dead, someone… Help!

 

* * *

 

"Gin-san, wake up! We have work to do." Shinpachi called out right away entering the yorozuya. Taking out his shoes he walked towards the main room opening the door. "Gin-san, are you still sleeping?.."

Shinpachi froze on his place in the door frame as he saw Gintoki sitting on the couch formally his head bowed down, while on the other couch Umibozu sat arms crossed over his chest as he was glaring at the perm head, baldy raised his eyes to look at Megane.

Patsuan gulped hard as he sweat forcing a smile and with shaking voice said. "I… I just remembered something. You guys have fun… I'll come back later." He turned around to leave when a cold metal was placed against his head.

"Sit down, Megane. I have something I want to ask you two useless two cent guardians." Umibozu ordered poking Shinpachi with the tip of his umbrella. Shin agreed sitting on the couch next to the oldest yorozuya.

Gin-san? What are we going to do? He is going to kill us… Megane sweat dropped as he telepathically sends his thoughts to Gintoki.

Perm head was sweating like crazy not able to think straight. C-c-c-calm down Patsuan! We have to think of something… Lets make a plan… a plan… We should have a runaway route… Yeah, let's make one…. Lets dig a tunnel… No better a rocket, I want to fly to some other planet… Or maybe we should do that, you know…. This like that… That then this and then that and its, you know will be… Well that….

YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE GIN-SAN! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! Shinpachi shouted in his mind.

"Now then…" Umibozu started with a serious voice. "I received a really interesting letter and…"

"What is he talking about Gin-san? What letter?" Megane whispered to silver samurai's ear.

Gintoki leaned closer also whispering. "Calm down Patsuan. Letter can mean that maybe he is here for another reason. Phew! We're saved."

"I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU MORONS! AND STOP IGNORING ME, I'M STILL NOT FINISHED." Baldy shouted, but then calming down continued. "Also I accidentally run into my idiot son during my journey and…."

"That's it Gin-san, he knows… he is here for our lives…"

"Let's runaway Patsuan! On my count!"

Veins started to pope out on violent daddy's head as he shouted. "LISTEN TO ME TILL THE END, YOU JACKASS, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING MEN!"

 

* * *

 

Shinsengumi HQ.

It was already late in the morning, but Kagura and Sougo were still asleep. China sleeping diagonally where she took the most of the futon, sheets were off her, her arms open wide as if she was trying to hug Sadaharu all at once and Sougo was lying on tatami instead of being in his warm futon. It was always like that Kagura sleeps restless, so she always ends up throwing him off.

Knock. Knock. Yamazaki knocked on the sliding door politely, not daring to open before any of them allowed him to. "Captain Okita, vice-commander is calling for you."

Sadist shifted on tatami dragging the blanket, that was lying somewhere instead of covering the person in his futon, on himself he mumbled with annoyance. "Go away Zaki. I'm in the mood… to wake up."

Knock. Knock. "I understand, but vice-commander said that you have an important meeting and you should be there."

"Badminton freak…" Kagura mumbled with irritation. "Its still early don't bother my sleep, if I get a bad skin I'll kill you bastard!"

"You're already ugly China, nothing can make it worse." Sougo said not opening his eyes or even shifting.

A pillow came running towards him and he so much as turned to his other side, while Kagura still with closed eyes and in same position replied. "Shut up and die Sadist! Do you want me to set your death flag again?"

Yamazaki gulped hard feeling their anger, but still knocked. "Its already 11:00 am. Matsudaira-san is also coming for a sudden visit soon. Vice-commander said to send miss China girl away and call you for a meeting."

"Leave or die, Zaki!" This time sadistic couple said in unison.

Zaki cried knowing what will happen now. If he knocks he will be killed, if he doesn't knock then devil vice-commander Hijikata Toushirou will kill him. Now which is worse.

Probably making the wrong choice Yamazaki knocked, but before he could even apologize. Sougo and Kagura both jumped, high kicking the door and sending it together with Zaki flying away and falling inside the pond, that was actually empty, so Badminton freak crashed to the cold stone. Yamazaki cried. "Why me~?"

"Now my morning nap is ruined." Kagura scratched her head.

"Oi Sougo, how many time should I tell you to not bully Yamazaki…. That's my job." Toushi approached them with Gorilla by his side and lit his cigarette as he stopped near them.

Okita looked at him with a bored look. "Don't be selfish Hijibaka-san, let me borrow him once in a while."

Vein popping out Hijikata shouted. "Who the f*** are you calling Hijibaka?!"

Sougo took out his bazooka and took an aim. "Good by Mayora. I'll be happy as a vice-commander." And he shoots at the raven-haired guy,

Mayora dodged by the slightest managing not getting blown. "DAMN YOU BASTARD BAKAISER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING EARLY IN THE DAY?"

"I'm practicing Hijikata-san. This is like a morning jog for me, Hijikata-san. I can't leave without it Hijikata-san. You should just die Hijikata-san. This world will be happier without you Hijikata-san." Bakaiser kept saying with poker face.

"STOP WITH THAT ANNOYING MONOLOGUE!" Toushi shouted clenching his fists in attempted to not start a battle and break this brats face.

"Che. So noisy in the morning and here I thought that Shinpachi was being loud." Yato female said with irritation. She frowned realizing that Kondo was staring at her, but looked at him with dead fish eyes as she said. "What are you looking at Gorilla? I don't have a banana on my face."

Kondo sweat dropped looking at his second in command, but Toushi just looked away from them continuing his smoking. Still poker face Sougo took out a mirror, that he had with him for some reason, and handed it to Kagura.

As China looked at her face painted with marker face, her devilish aura started to increase. "S-A-D-I-S-T!" Yato female grabbed her umbrella saying every letter of her boyfriend's name with the more and more hatred and anger.

Okita smirked. "What China, failed at doing make up? You're more scarier than usual."

Kagura attacked him, Sougo unsheathing his katana just in time to block her parasol and bullets that fly towards him. They started a full-fledged battle, while tax robber officers just sigh not bothering since this was pretty much what every morning was like. Kondo and Hijikata stood there looking at the two, Gorilla turning to his friend with troubled expression.

"Um, Toushi? I might be getting this wrong, but aren't they dating? And when people are dating shouldn't they be more… you know… lovely-doney."

Toushi let out a long smoke. "As I said those two brats have to much free time on their hands. They're probably doing all this for the fun of it, just wait a while and they will break up after getting bored of it."

Sougo and Kagura both stopped staring at Mayora with pissed eyes and then said in unison. "DIE MAYORA!" Then the sadistic couple both shoots at devil vice-commander, Sadist firing his bazooka and China shooting from her parasol.

Hijikata jumped in time escaping the shoot and while he kept shouting the pair was about to return to their fight when big white bag of fur also known as Sadaharu appeared jumping at biting on Okita's head.

Kagura laughed. "Haha… So lame Sadist! Good job, Sadaharu!"

"You damn dog!" Sadist shouted and attacked the dog, now instead of China he was running after the big dog, while Sadaharu was running away from him obviously playing around.

China kept laughing when her phone rang. Picking up she answered in bored voice. "Yes, Megane I'm awake I'll come home in a…. Eh?"

[…...]

"Baldy has returned? Why?"

[…...]

"It's ok, I'm not afraid of my father."

[…...]

"What do you mean I should be?" She asked in frustration.

[…...]

Kagura looked surprised. "Eh? There is a tradition like that?"

[…...]

"How should I know?" Kagura shouted with annoyance. "Ask Abuto he is the professional one on Yato traditions!"

[…...]

China sigh. "Okay, I got it. Sure." She hangs up. "Sadaharu!"

Big dog run to his master with happy face licking Kagura's cheek. Sougo also approached them giving the dog side looks as he just bark with cute voice.

Kagura grabbed her Sadist's collar pulling him down and kissing him, then she let go, with Sougo arching a brow at her.

Yato female smirked mischievous. "I know you're a pervert, but I'm going away on a mission, so you have to deal with this for now."

"Who are you calling a pervert, you glutton monster?" Okita asked with irritation ready to draw his sword.

She sticks out her tongue as she jumped on Sadaharu's back. "See you later, Pervert-kun! Let's go Sadaharu!"

China, together with her dog, run away leaving not through the door, but by jumping across the wall. As Okita had a vein pope out on his cheek and said with annoyance. "Damn you China, I'll kill you!"

Third in command of Shinsengumi sigh turning around his hands in his pockets. "Well, now I can relax and sle- *Ahem* I mean work."

"SOUGO YOU DAMN BASTARD! DON'T SLACK OFF AND DO YOUR WORK! LAZY ASS SADISTIC KING!" Hijikata shouted as a piece of paper fall in front of him.

"Eh? What's this?" Mayora bowed down picking the convert and opened it reading contend of the letter.

'Dear, Toushi.

Shinpachi forbid me from breaking the 4 th wall and talking with you, so…'

"And yet you write a letter to me. That's pretty much breaking the wall." Mayo-freak said with irritation.

'But for the sake of all the love and respect I feel for you…'

"What's this a confession or something?"

'RUN TOUSHI! FAST RUN!

With love, from Author.'

Mayora arched a brow. "Why should I run?"

"TOUSHI~!" Pig squirmed with happiness as she ran fast towards Hijikata.

Toushi's eyes went wide as he shouted to the camera. "YOU DAMN IDIOT! IF YOU WERE GOING TO WARM ME, THEN DO IT SOONER!" And Hijikata runs as if his life depends on it.

Ham woman stopped pouting. "Mo~ so not fair. Where did he go?"

"He went that way." Sougo pointed with his thumb towards the way Hijikata run.

Pig lady looked at him. "Ah, Kagura's boyfriend-san."

"It's Sougo, Pig Lady."

"You're so handsome and cool, you know you're actually my type." She smiled.

Okita arched a brow. "Sorry, I'm already dating and I'm not interested in pigs."

Pig waved a hand in dismissal. "Don't worry I'm not interested in younger boys anyways. But because I like you I feel sad because you and Kagura-chan have to break up."

Sadist frowned. "Why all of you people so hang upon us breaking up? Do you actually want us to separate that much?"

Ham looked at him surprised. "Eh? Haven't you heard?" When he kept looking at her with poker face she continued. "I guess Kagura haven't told you then. Umibozu-san agreed on Shun-chan and Kagura-chan's marriage. So we're getting ready for it."

Sougo kept looking at her his expression not changing. Pig turned around. "Now then, I should go and give Toushi his bento."

Okita catch her collar pulling her back and took her bento throwing it towards Yamazaki. "Zaki, give this and my new bomb to Hijibaka-san. That should make his day."

Badminton freak looked at him with teary eyes. "But captain, I'll be killed by vice-commander."

"Now then miss Piggy! Tell me more about this marriage thing." And Sadist started walking towards his office pulling the woman behind him by her collar.

Ham's eyes went wide as she shouted. "Wait, I still have to go find Gin-san and give him his bento!"

"Danna, have to wait for a while." Sougo said with deadpan voice.

"But… But…" Pig lady wanted to protest, but a devilish stare from Okita made her shut up with silent tears. Help me, Gin-san!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know it's kind of short. Please review and tell me what you feel, so i can work on fixing my mistakes. Thank you *Bow* See you next chapter~


	5. If you give your number to someone, then at least bother to pick up. Stat!

Yagyuu Household.

Kagura, Otae, Kyuubei were sitting in guest room, formally behind the table as the three women were facing Umibozu, Shun, Gin-chan and Shinpachi. When China received the call from Megane telling her that her father was back and he wanted her to be married to Shun in a three days, first what she thought was that she should have let Kamui-nii cut more than baldies arm.

Kagura obviously run away wanting to hide from everything until she learns about this stupid tradition and solve it. First place she went of course was Shimura dojo, since she really wanted her Anego's advice, but boss lady told her that she should talk with her father before doing anything. Since they needed somewhere where it's not cramped and easily broken during a fight, so Yorozuya house was out and she can't afford to destroy the dojo, so they came all the way to Yagyuu, well one of the reasons was because Kyuubei offered that.

But still China wanted an upper hand and first she needed to learn about that damn tradition, so she was trying to call her brother since then, but bastard is not picking up. After a long dial once again her call didn't reach, getting irritated Yato female jumped up on her feet smashing the phone against the wall, but thankfully or should one say magically it didn't break, but only fell down unscratched.

"DAMN YOU BASTARD! IF YOU GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER THEN AT LEAST BOTHER TO PICK UP!" Kagura shouted sitting down with humph.

Tae-chan smiled at the girl. "My, my Kagura-chan are you planning to ask your brother's help on this? How cute!"

"Don't joke about this Anego! There is no way in hell that I'll ever ask that bastards help. I would rather accept help from Gorilla and Mayora than turn to the most dangerous brother of Gintama." China bit on her sukobu with annoyance.

"Then why are you trying so hard to call him?" Kyuubei asked looking at the girl.

Vein popped out on her cheek as Kagura shouted. "BECAUSE THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON WHO KNOWS YATO TRADITIONS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE AND THAT MOP HEAD IS MY BROTHERS NANNY!"

"Kagura-chan…" Otae said her name gently.

Realizing from boss lady's voice what kind of danger it was she sat down finishing her thought. "If I want to know more about this stupid tradition and stop it, I first need to learn about it. Besides since my brother kind of forcefully gave me his number, I never thought it will be handy."

"What about Okita-kun?" Megane asked.

"What about him?" China frowned looking at Shinpachi.

"Shouldn't you tell him about this?" Otae asked.

Kagura looked at the woman she admired so much and sigh shaking her head. "This is my problem not his. I'll deal with it myself."

Otae looked at her confused. "But you are dating right? It's normal for lovers to share this kind of problems."

"I'll never ask his help Anego. I can't… I…"

"WILL YOU STOP IGNORING OUR PRESENCE?" Shun shouted getting everyone's attention. He then smiled at his childhood friend. "Well, then Kagura-chan now that we finally have uncle's permission we can get married without any worries."

Kagura's left brow twitching she tried to keep her cool as she said slowly. "Don't talk like we're some kind of drama heroes who can't be together because their parents disagree. My life was all nice and peaceful, well as much as its possible when dating a Sadist, but you appeared and now I have to deal with this. Honestly Shun-chan, go and die!"

"Kagura-chan I think that marrying Shun is the best for you. He's a great guy I like him." Umibozu said hands crossed over his chest while his voice seemed like he was kind of robot like.

"Huh?" Kagura bit on her sukobu like it was some kind of cigarette in her mouth looking at her father annoyed. "Are you out of your mind baldy? Did your baldhead catch cold, so you can't hear anymore? Did your brain fall out together with your hair?" China put her leg on the table and shouted. "I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED YOU DAMN IDIOTS! I DON'T WANT TO!"

Umibozu looked at her unaffected. ""Calm down Kagura, your mother and I also got married when she was 16."

"Don't confuse things baldy! You met mommy when she was 16, but she made you wait another two years for marriage, she told us how you were bothering and begging her." Yato girl looked at her dad with smug smile.

"No, that's a lie mommy and daddy really love each other." Baldy said monotone with a stat.

Shun smiled sitting beside Kagura. "Well, then we shall play the weeding tomorrow."

"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I SAID NO!"

"Yes, it's a nice idea!" Baldy nodded shaking Shun's hand.

Veins popping on her face, China once again jumped up. "DAMN IT, LISTEN-!"

"Oi, Baldy!" Gintoki stand up grabbing Umibozu by his collar and looking at him with dead fish eyes. "Didn't you hear her? Women don't love persistent men. No wonder you're still single."

"Gin-chan?" Kagura said with happy, but a little surprised voice.

"My, my Gin-san, so you're going to interfere? Did you get over your laziness?" Otae smiled again as she looked at the two men.

Returning the action, Baldy also grabbed yorozuya by his collar, but he was still emotionless. "She is my daughter I know what's best for her!"

"Marrying her by force is what you call 'best'? Like I'll allow that! As he guardian here on Earth I will not allow it."

"Try to stop it." Umibozu smirked.

"Kagura-chan is mine and I won't allow anyone to interfere." Shun clicked his fingers and in a second room filled with his guards wearing all black.

Everyone was on their feet now, getting ready, perm head still holding on to Umibozu. "Tae-chan, stay back!" Kyuu-chan ordered.

"Waka!" Ayumu run into the room. "Everyone is ready. Just say the word."

Kyuubei nodded waiting for someone to make move or for Gin to give some signal.

"Now then. I'm taking my bride! Stop anyone who interferes!" Shun ordered as he grabbed Kagura's arm.

Vein popping on her face as she got pissed, China throw Shun over her shoulder and across the room shouting. "STOP FREAKING TOUCHING ME!"

Men in black charged as Ayumu with Kyuubei and rest of the Yagyuu swordsmen faced them in a battle. Gin-chan challenged Umibozu as Patsuan shouted. "Run Kagura-chan! Hurry!"

"Eh? But I want to fight too! It seems so fun." Kagura pouted.

"IT'S NOT TIME FOR GAMES! GO!" Patchy shouted.

This time listening to her Yorozuya comrade she runaway, jumping on Sadaharu's back and hitting couple of men on her way out.

 

* * *

 

Yoshiwara.

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" Kagura cursed again and again as she finished her 10th bowl of rice with egg and started filling another one for herself.

"You should calm down Kagura-chan. I'm sure everything will be fixed soon." Hinowa smiled at her.

"I left my phone there, so I can't even call now." She sighs. "I wish I can just freaking kill that bastard."

"If you want to call Okita-san or Shinsengumi barracks I think we have their number, right Tsukky?" Raven-haired woman turned to blond.

Tsukyo nodded. Getting annoyed Kagura shouted. "Who will want to call that bastard? Why the hell are all of you so hung upon me telling everything to Sadist? He has no freaking business in this!"

"That's true women are independent, we don't need men to do every little thing for us. Especially in Gintama, since in here women are stronger than men."

"You're not helping the matter Tsukky." Hinowa shook her head. "Well, then Kagura-chan can you explain to us what's exactly going on?"

Kagura turned around facing the two. "Well, I don't know the details myself. But it has something to do with traditions and since I was never interested I never cared. In one sentence, when Yato turn 16 we already reach the age where we either keep being under our parent's care or leave to choose our own way of life, like my brother did. On the day of our 16th birthday we make a choice of what path we want to follow and most important we can even choose our future husband and make a promise. My parents met and my mom promised her love to dad on her 16th birthday, but he still waited for her 2 more years. If I marry before or on the day of my birthday, which they're trying to do, I won't be able to break that vow, so I just have to find a way out until then."

"Oh, that's quite troublesome and your birthday in a month, so we can't hide you until then." Hinowa said troubled.

"Do you know the way out? Those kind of things usually have a flow, so you can break it." Tsukky asked.

Kagura shrug. "I don't know. I remember that there is a way out of this promise, but I don't know exactly what, so I've been trying to ask my useless brother and mop head for help, but freaking moron is not picking up his phone!"

"Tsukky-nee!" Seita run into the room breathless with worried look on his face. "Some weird people appeared in Yoshiwara and it seems like they're looking for Kagura-chan."

"Damn they found me!" Kagura jumped up grabbing her parasol as she went to exit.

"Wait!" Tsukky grabbed her shoulder stopping her. "Use the back door to escape. Seita show her the way."

"Sure, this way." The boy runs to the door stopping in front of it.

China shook her head frowning. "No way! Those guys are Yato, I'll deal with them."

"You shouldn't underestimate the Hyakka, Kagura-chan." Hinowa said smiling.

Tsukky turned around and with cool voice while blowing out a smoke said. "Here in Yoshiwara we protect the right of women. Everyone has a right to love and marry whom they want, everyone in Yoshiwara and I, are going to protect women's freedom to love and live. We won't allow scum like that hurt someone who helped us so many times."

Yato girl looked at the blond surprised for a moment, but then smile and showed her thumb up. "Tsukky you're so cool. Just like I thought, you're a great bride. You and Gin-chan suit each other so well. My idiot son should definitely choose you." China shouted with mother like voice as she run after Seita to the back door.

"My, my Tsukky…" Hinowa smiled bright looking at the girl in front of her. "Are you blushing?"

"I need to gather everyone to stop those men." Tsukyo said and left in a hurry.

Raven-haired woman shook her head still smile on her lips. "You're so not honest, Tsukyo."

 

* * *

 

Yorozuya.

Gin relied on the back of the sofa one hand thrown over it while with the other he was holding the carton box of his favorite strawberry milk and gulping it down with no problem at all.

Shinpachi sat opposite to him on the other sofa looking at the Yorozuya leader who seemed calm and relaxed considering his previous attitude and fight. "I wonder where Umibozu-san and Shun-san ran away? I hope Kagura-chan is ok."

Putting now empty box down perm head sit back fully relaxed as he picked his ear. "Don't worry… Don't worry… We have too many weird friends to hide her. She will be fine, she's a tough girl."

"No, this is quite serious Gin-san, please can you be more serious about this?" Megane demanded. "What are we going to do about this marriage thing?"

"Don't worry, it'll work itself out, Patsuan. It always does, right? When things seem desperate somehow Yorozuya find a way out and it ends well. So this time somehow this will be over and it will be a Happy End~!" Silver samurai finished the sentence with fake English accent.

"DON'T SAY SUCH THINGS THAT WILL CAUSE MISUNDERSTANDINGS? IS THAT EVEN OKAY FOR YOU TO SAY THAT WHEN YOU'RE THE MAIN CHARACTER?" Megane shouted.

Gin-chan didn't pay him any attention as he finally take out whatever was in his nose and throw it away after examining it. "You're annoying Patsuan, leave me alone. I was woken up early in the morning with a worst possible way, so I want to read my Jump and sleep for two days. Wake me up, when it's already time for me to appear and complete the arc with some cool words and action." Perm head lay down on sofa taking out his Jump from inside his kimono and opened it reading.

"DON'T GO LAZING AROUND AND LET EVERYONE ELSE DO THE JOB! CAN'T YOU AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE WORRIED?" After shouting was ignored, Patchy sat down with a sigh. "And here I thought you were worried and was taking this serious when you challenged Baldy, but as always you're so misleading Gin-san."

Gintoki kept reading his Jump and Shinpachi was drinking his tea, when Megane finally broke the silence finally sorting out his thoughts. "But Gin-san, there is something about Umibozu-san, that bothers me."

"Yeah, I'm also bother by his smell, but don't worry. I'll give you some cotton to cover your nostrils." Gin-chan said with bored tone.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN! But I would still appreciate it since that is quite bothersome." Patsuan nodded and continued. "Umibozu-san is not acting like himself. When we were worried that he will kill us when he finds out about Kagura going out with someone, he didn't, but instead he easily agreed on her marrying someone else and to top it off someone she doesn't even love. Plus, he is completely ignoring her words and the fact that her dating someone was revealed. It's like he's possessed."

Silver samurai didn't say anything, but instead quietly kept reading his favorite magazine. Megane sigh, you never know what's going on inside that perm head of his, but hopefully his love for Kagura like his daughter is stronger than his laziness. And hopefully this will be over before Okita finds out. Since as much jealous as Sadistic King is hell will definitely break loose.

Well, considering that the things they're always afraid of end up happening, Okita Sougo will definitely learn about this matter and in the most natural, not so shocking way. (Well, but consequences will be bad.)

 

* * *

 

"Zura? What are you doing?" Kagura asked the longhaired Joui leader who was hiding in the closet.

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura!" After saying his usual line that he is never tired of, Katsura continued. "I'm on stand by for this arc, and as I was expecting you appeared for me, Leader."

China looked at the man with empty eyes, as he continued. "Actually I was on a stand by for Kagura's arc too, but it seemed you didn't need me there Leader, so I decided to appear and last and then when this series started I was sure that you will need me this time, so I hide in here waiting and finally you came. You can't expect there to be a fight between Gintoki and Takasugi without me there, so I was hiding behind the stairs and then during the first chapters I was behind Gintoki's table. And now it's finally time for me to…"

Before he could finish Kagura shut closed the door with annoyance.

"Leader? Are you there? Leader!" Zura shouted, but Kagura just shoot at the closet door with her parasol and opened countless holes in it. Then turned around and left with annoyance. It was so stupid to come here.

"Leader, did you left? Don't worry I'll keep standing in on this spot for stand by."

 

* * *

 

Harusame ship.

Abuto entered the room without knocking approaching the young captain with vermilion hair and his usual smile. He once again went through all the trouble of explaining to elders why the guy in question was never present on the meetings and then went out to find the man responsible for it.

But indeed the older man was not surprised to find Kamui in dining room gulping down more and more food from his big bowl. Abuto approached the table putting his captain's phone on the table. "Tomorrow elders will hold another meeting and this time you have to be there or you will be in trouble that even I can't save you from."

"Lets just kill them. Who needs those idiots anyways?" Kamui smiled turning to the man.

"Don't go solving things by killing, it won't help. Just come there and sit for a while, will you?"

"If I can bring my PSP with me." Yato boy said returning to his food.

Abuto sigh. "Oh, well. By the way if you bother to give people your number then at least pick it up."

Kamui finally finished his food pushing the bowl away. "Hm? No one ever calls me, so I left it."

"Well, someone did." Older man stated.

Vermilion haired boy's antenna twitched and he picked up his phone opening it just to see 50 missed calls from his sister. "Oh, Kagura-chan must have missed me to send me so many calls."

Abuto shook his head. "No, she probably wants to kill you for about now for not picking up."

Kamui dialed his sister's number his usual smile still on, but instead of his sister a grown man's voice answered. "Yes?"

"Who are you?" Yato boy asked.

"Sir, we still can't find that Yato girl." A third voice came out, but then the man that picked up the phone answered. "Look everywhere for her, we need to get her back to Shun-sama in time for the ceremony."

Kamui arched a brow; his smiled still on, but slowly disappearing. The man on the other line shouted. "Hey you, you are that girls friend, right? If you know where she is spill it or…"

The man didn't get to finish as Kamui hang up turning towards Abuto with a smile. "Abuto?"

The said man sigh already knowing what it is, but still asked. "Yes?"

"We're going back to Earth. Inform everyone."

Listening to his young commander he turned around leaving the room. "But we have a meeting in two days, so we have to be back by then."

"Of course, I'll just destroy some pests who dared to threaten me." Yato turned away and digging into another plate full of food.

Sand haired man sigh thinking. Can't he just admit that he is worried for his sister? This guy is a Sadist and always dishonest, but I guess the saying "I hate my dog, but if someone else bullies it I'll kill him" goes for the young captain.

 

* * *

 

Yagyuu Household.

While all stated above was happening, there was something else going on in Yagyuu right after Kagura run off.

After the fight was over and Umibozu with that parody of FF guy run away, Gin-san and Shinpachi took off after them. The men in black stayed back with Yagyuu swordsmen and Kyuubei fighting them and driving them out.

The young woman with eye patch returned to the room where Otae Shimura was still sitting and peacefully drinking her tea.

"They're gone now Tae-chan. Sorry to keep you waiting." Kyuubei sat opposite to her friend.

Otae smiled putting her hand over her cheek. "Its okay Kyuu-chan, but don't you also think that the two of them are such a sweet couple?"

"And so not honest." Kyuu-chan completed.

"Well, then that's what is happening, what are you going to do now Okita-kun?" Tae asked turning towards the sliding door behind her.

Sougo opened the door and after stepping in, he relied on the wall his hands in his pockets. "She is an idiot to no point of return, but I do have couple of tricks up my sleeve, Boss Lady." Sadist smirked.

"Thank you for your patronage." Okita moved passed women and walked to the door.

Otae smiled again. "No problem, I'm OkiKagu fan after all." Sadistic Prince smiled back and walked out of the room.

"Author-san?" Tae-sama looked at the camera. "It seems like you just signed Umibozu and Shun's death certificate."

(*Sweat drop* With most dangerous two sadist men coming to their dear China's rescue. Yeah, even being the one writing I'm really scared of what will happen.)


	6. If you want to save your daughter from the marriage then just be… Gintama style!

Kagura opened the door with the crash entering the big ballroom of the high-class hotel that was reserved by Shun for their so-called ceremony. The room was full of people, but she didn't know who any of them was, the only once she recognized were Gin-chan, Megane and Anego standing around their table with their usual looks and as always Kondo was there, but that must be because he was stalking Otae, not because he was worried or maybe he was doing both. But what about Mayora, why is he here? Whether he helps or not Sadist will still want to kill him.

Oh, that was last of her worries right now; she wanted to so hard kick her father and her old friend for causing this trouble. Kagura walked up to her father with fury, grabbing his collar and glaring at him. "Damn you baldy, get back to your senses. I don't want this!"

Umibozu smiled at his daughter pushing her away. "Its fine. Its fine."

In a second Kagura was surrounded by maids and suddenly dressed up in a weeding dress. China looked at herself shocked, shouting. "HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO IT IN LESS THAN A MINUTE? Oh, but I do look cute." She circled around waving her dress.

"They were trained especially for this day, Kagura-chan." Shun approached her smiling. "You look cute."

Suddenly stopping Yato female glared at her old friend veins popping on her face. "You damn moron! This is your entire fault! Why the hell are you so forceful?"

"I want you to be mine forever." Shun said innocent. "Aren't I a lot better than that dishonest sadistic captain?"

"I HATE YOU BOTH!" Kagura shouted.

Yato boy took her hand ignoring the shouting and dragged her towards the stage where monk was standing. "Its time Kagura-chan."

"I DON'T WANT TO BASTARD! LET… GO!" And she threw him off Shun turning in the air and landing on his feet as his guards surrounded Kagura.

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait!" Gin-chan waved his head coming in front of Kagura and standing between her and Shun, while Megane, Gorilla, Mayora and Otae also come closer. "You're doing it wrong Takeshi-kun."

"Who the hell is Takeshi, I'm Shun?" Yato boy replied with annoyance.

"Takeshi or Shun, all the same." Perm head waved it off and continued with calm teacher like voice. "Well, you see I don't how for you Yato classman, but for us on earth if we want to marry someone we need to undergo some tests."

"What the hell are saying I have never heard about it?" Yato boy looked suspiciously at the silver samurai.

"Its true, Shun-san. We earthlings can't marry a girl if her father doesn't accept, so we have to go through some tests." Shinpachi said with calm voice fixing his glasses.

Shun arched a brow. "But her father did agree."

"No, no, no. Since this brat has two more fathers you have to get an agreement from them too." Hijikata followed up as he lit his cigarette.

"Yes, Sougo's-rival-kun, if you love a woman you have to fight, like I do for my Otae-san." Kondo said with cool voice arms crossed over his chest.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING YOURS?" Tae shouted and hit the gorilla so hard he flew away. She then smiled. "Okita-kun already, fight for Kagura-chan, so he is one step ahead."

"Papi…" Kagura hugged her father's arm, faking her tears. "Shun-chan doesn't want to fight for me. See he doesn't love me at all."

"Shun, if you want my daughter then show this useless man what a Yato classman can do!" Umibozu said with serious voice.

"Che. Fine, lets get this over and done with. So what's the challenge?"

Gintoki dressed up as Facto, the factory chef from episode 216. "Listen to me, my boy, you have to make a Patriot!" Perm head talked with elderly voice pulling out a Patriot and showing it to Shun. "If you can manage to do it as perfect as this, then I'll approve of this."

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? AND WHY DID YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR APPEARENCE? WHERE DID YOU GET THAT OUTFIT AND MUSTACHE FROM?" Shun started shouting.

"Ah, youngsters these days. They don't know all the glory of Patriot." Silver samurai shook his head.

Shun looked at him with empty eyes. "What the hell is Patriot?"

"All they think about this days are video games and TV. In our days we could only think about Patriot, working day and night to buy one." Hijikata frowned shaking his head.

"No, really what the hell is Patriot?" Yato boy started to get annoyed.

"Why Toushi? Why?" Kondo cried still standing straight hands crossed over his chest and trying to act cool with tears. "Why do kids these days don't like Patriot? Why do they keep forgetting all the glory that bring to us?"

"Stop ignoring me bastards! I have no idea what you're saying." Shun half shouted irritated.

"Papa, how can you make me marry someone who doesn't love Patriot?" China cried fake tears of despair holding on to her father's arm.

Baldy glared at him with serious stare. "Shun, you should be ashamed of your self!"

"STOP SPOUTING NONSENSE DAMN IT! WHAT THE HELL IS A PATRIOT?" When everyone just looked at him with bored look he sighs, anger mark popping on his face. "Fine, I just have to make something similar, right?"

Shun turned around towards the table behind him that hand two tissue papers, toilet papers and one stick on it. He fixed it in one minute giving it to facto.

Gin- Oh, I mean the factory manager looked at the Patriot that Shun made and threw it away. "It's not the Patriot! That was just crap!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, BASTARD? THEY LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME!" Shun shouted with anger.

"No, they don't, right Patsuan?" Gin-chan turned to Megane.

Patchy nodded holding the real Patriot. "Yes, Gin- Oh, I mean Facto, this is the original that fake can't be the real thing! I mean with one look you can tell it's the fake. Fake!" Shinpachi was waving the thing, so he dropped it, both Patriots now lying together on the floor. Shinpachi leaned down to pick up, hesitating a minute before picking one and coming up with the smile. "See, I can never mistake the real with your fake!"

"YOU DID! JUST NOW YOU HESITATED TO PICK ONE, BECAUSE THEY LOOK THE SAME! YOU TOTALLY MISTAKE THEM!" Yato boy shouted.

"No, I didn't!" Patsuan said fixing his glasses.

"Anyways, until you make the right one, you won't pass!" Facto cut in.

"DAMN IT!" Shun cursed and kept making Patriot. One hour later he was still not able to make even a single right one. He just turned the table over from anger. "Ah, enough is enough, I'll kill you bastard!"

Facto shook his head. "You're not putting your heart in it my boy, you should do it with love."

"LIKE I CAN EVER FEEL LOVE FOR THIS UNIDENTIFIED THING!"

"Just use this Shun-chan." Someone said with girly voice giving him the patriot.

Factory chief snapped the thing out of the woman's hand and looked at it with angels flying behind and above him. "This… This… This is the most perfect Patriot I have ever seen." Silver head shouted with teary eyes.

"Who did it? Who? Who?" Perm head looked around when a pig come right in front of him.

"Gin-san, you really think that it's perfect?" Ham smiled her eyes shining. "Oh, Gin-san I love you!" She jumped to hug him.

Gin-chan had shivers down his back as he dodged her, going behind Otae. "Oi, oi, stop trying to jump me. She is a really scary woman when she is jealous you know?" Perm head said pointing at Otae standing in front of him.

"Oh, Gin-san so you're worried about me?" Pig blushed with happiness.

"My, my Gin-san looks like you just bring her hopes up." Otae smiled.

Vein popping out Gin shouted. "Can't you help me a little, damn it?"

"I don't feel like it."

"Otae-san~" Kondo jumped on her, but got hit in the face and thrown away.

"Gin-san~" This time it was Ham girl, but Gin put Toushi in his place and run away. Hijikata just in time moved dodging her embrace.

"Damn you yorozuya! Don't dump her on me!" Mayora shouted.

"You suit each other well. Go get married and have many little mayo loving pig kids." Gin-chan said with bored voice and dead fish eyes, standing beside Otae, for Pig to not approach him.

"Anyways, stop with your crazy talk." Shun interrupted. "With this I win, right? So lets start the ceremony."

"Gin-chan?" Kagura looked at her guardian worried.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait! We're nowhere near finished. Now for the second challenge." Perm head was back to his usual clothes.

Yato boy sigh. "Fine, what is it this time?"

"Pss. Pss. Patsuan?" Gintoki whispered for Megane to approach him and the whispered to his ear. "What do we do now Patchy?"

"You don't have a plan?" Shinpachi silently shouted holding his voice back. When Gin sweat just like him, Patsuan looked around and straightened up. "Well, then Shun-san your second challenge is to go and tell Hedoro and his family that they were not invited to this place and that they're scary."

"Good job Patsuan!" Gintoki showed him thumbs up just like Kondo and Toushi.

"Heh, is that the best you could manage?" Shun smirked with superiority. "So where is that Hedoro fellow?"

"There!" Gorilla, Mayora, Yorozuya and Megane pointed at the same time towards the far lonely table, where giant green monsters with horns and deadly aura's were standing.

"If you could make them leave, you pass." Silver samurai concluded.

Shun gulped down as he approached the scary family trying to be cool. "E-excuse me?"

Hedoro family turned towards him as Shun flinched. Yorozuya trio with Shinsengumi duo snickered. "Now he is dead. He can never win this."

"Oh, you must be the Yorozuya-san's kid's groom. Nice to meet you! I'm Hedoro and this is my family." The green giant said with scary voice.

Yato boy gulped down. "G-good evening! I hope… you're enjoying yourselves."

"No, what kind of a crappy weeding is this? It's boring." Hedoro's father complained.

"Father!" Hedoro said troubled turning to Shun, but his demon aura scared the young boy. "I'm sorry my father doesn't like Earth much."

I'm going to get killed even before I manage to finish this weeding. Damn, those bastards. I'll definitely make them pay. Shun thought as he shook with trouble gulping down. "W-well, Hedoro-san… you see… A-actually…"

"Hedoro-san?" Pig approached them with a smile. "I'm sorry, but we have to cancel the weeding. Sorry, for the trouble of coming. We will be sure to inform you again once we settle with the date." Ham bowed slightly.

"Mother?" Shun looked at her surprised, but thought with trouble. What the hell are you doing, mother? You already look like a ham. They will definitely think of you as a food and eat you. Run! Run!

"Oh, I see!" Hedoro said in understanding. "We understand. It's such a misfortune. Thank you for inviting." And the scary family left.

"Eh? They weren't scary at all." Shun looked a little shocked.

Pig smiled. "Of course not, they were just some monsters who are always misunderstood. You should have read Gintama before coming to this arc."

And then the mother and son returned to the Yorozuya and Shinsengumi's side.

"Now it's over, right?" Yato boy glared at them.

"No, no, no! Not so fast. Now you have to… Have to…" Gintoki thought hard about what to say.

"Why don't you try to name all the titles of all the Gintama chapters?" Otae smiled.

"Eh?" Shun arched a brow at the woman, but then shouted. "HOW DO YOU THINK I CAN MANAGE TO NAME ALL THE EPISODES FOR 6 SEASON IN ONE CHAPTER, IT WILL GO ON TILL THE END OF THE ARC."

"Actually that's a good idea." Perm head nodded. "But not the anime, name all the manga chapter titles."

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Yato boy shouted as his mother put her hand on his shoulder.

"Let me handle this Shun-chan, we will just fast forward so that it will end fast." Ham woman smiled.

"But mother it's impossible." The boy looked at his mother with surprise.

Ham woman shook her head. "It's not Shun-chan. I re-read and re-watched all the Gintama season's and volumes at least 20 times."

"Eh? But we met just 5 chapters ago, when did you managed?" Hijikata looked at her frowning.

"I did it last chapter when I didn't appeared."

She smiled at Mayora the said man also moving closer to Otae, as if expecting Anego to be their protective shield. "Oi, Yorozuya, how did you manage to find someone like her? She is scary!"

Perm head and Mayora hide behind Otae whispering at each other while sweating. "We should get rid of her. Fast or she is going to turn us into Shoujo and then turn the whole Gintama around. Oogushi-kun lets throw her out, get rid of her."

"Why should I be the one? You're the man of her dreams." Hijikata shouted

"She is scarier than that damn purple natto girl stalker and your gorilla commander. You're a police, right? You can cover it up. It's ok!"

More veins popping out Toushi shouted again. "Like hell it's ok! What do you think Shinsengumi is for?"

"For tax robbing purposes." Gin-chan said with bored voice and dead fish eyes.

"I'll kill you, yorozuya!" Devil vice-commander felt his last patience about to snap. But both hearing Otae coughing as if telling them that everyone pretty much heard everything they both straightened up, acting as if nothing happened.

"Here Gin-san this is all the titles for Gintama. As the main hero you should know them by heart, but just to be fair." Patsuan gave the older yorozuya his phone with opened Internet page. "Okay, Gin-san keeps the track. Pig-san, recite them in order from first till the latest. Ready?"

"Yep." Pig said cheerfully, making Gin and Toushi sweat drop.

"Go!" Shinpachi commanded and Ham girl started calling out the titles one by one Gin-chan keeping the track, all the others right beside him also looked at the screen of the phone-keeping track.

Blue lines fall upon Gin-chan and others as Pig lady finished naming the titles. "She was right! Not a single mistake." Perm head with hoarse voice.

"Gin-san, so you're impressed with me? Are you in love with me already?" Ham's eyes shine with pink hearts as she jumped on Gin-chan.

Silver samurai grabbed Otae's arm pulling her close to him and stepping away from pig. He whispered to Anego's ear. "I'll buy you as much Bargain Dash as you want till the end of my life, so please save me from this woman."

"My, my Gin-san, are you proposing to me?" Otae smiled looking at the yorozuya leader.

"No, Otae-san~ don't fall for that bastard's lie! Be mine!" Kondo shouted and jumped towards Tae and Gin-chan.

Boss lady send him away flying with a bat and then turned to perm head with her usual smile, but a little pissed. "That and you have to keep this Gorilla away from me… Forever."

"Deal!" Gintoki agreed right away.

Otae put her arm over Gin-chan's and smiled towards the Ham lady. "Sorry, Pig-san, but as you see he's already taken. So stay away from my man."

"Hah!" Pig woman smirked triumphal. "Like I'll ever believe that. You yourself said that there was nothing between the two of you couple of chapters back."

"I was lying." Tae kept smiling, but looking at the other woman challenging.

"Oh, come on isn't it better for you. Now you can choose Mayora and live a happy life with him." Silver samurai commented picking his ear with dead fish eyes.

"Ah!" Pig's eyes shine again looking at Hijikata finally realizing the truth. "My dear Toushi! Now we can be together forever!"

Pig jumped at him, devil vice-commander sweating and shouting. "DAMN YOU YOROZUYA!"

(*Shout* Stay away from him!)

And then the pig flew away. Hijikata looked at the camera. "Looks like I also have someone to save me from that pig after all."

"WHY ARE YOU INTERFERING WITH THE PLOT AGAIN?" Shinpachi shouted.

(Sorry, couldn't hold myself. *Pout*)

"THEN JUST APPEAR AS AN OC INSTEAD OF BREAKING THE DAMN WALL. IT'S FREAKING ANNOYING!" Patsuan ordered shouting.

(*Eyes shining* Nice idea Patsuan! I'll do that!)

Water drop upon Megane as he sigh. "No, don't do it. I was just joking you know."

"Nice job, Patchy! As if we didn't already had enough trouble." Gintoki said with bored tone.

(Back to the main point! *Smile*)

"So what's next?" Shun said annoyed.

"Name all the Otsu songs ever played!" Megane ordered. And once again it was Pig lady who did the listing.

"Eat 10 packs of mayonnaise right off the bottle faster than me in 2 minutes!" Toushi ordered.

Yato boy smirked. "Heh, is that the best you can think?"

"Shun-chan isn't that great that I made you eat mayonnaise instead of drinking milk when you were a baby." Ham woman smiled brightly.

Gloomy aura fell upon everyone with disgust, well for vice-commander it was just shock. Gin-chan's voice shake as he asked. "Y-you gave him mayonnaise instead of milk?"

Pig looked at him smiling. "Yep, you see everyone in our family is fat and looks like pig, but he is so thin, so I had to try my best to make him look like me a lot. It didn't worked though." She sighs.

They're so messed up. Everyone thought in unison.

Gin sweat once again pulling everyone around him. "This is bad! We have to find something better quick."

"We can't ask anything about the Gintama, since that pig will be able to pretty much name them all." Hijikata frowned.

"Gin-chan do something, I don't want to marry this guy." Kagura pledged her guardian with cute voice.

Otae smiled patting her shoulder. "Don't worry Kagura-chan, Gin-san will think of something, right?" She smiled one of her if-you-don't-do-anything-I'll-kill-you smiles.

China smiled at her Anego, everyone waiting for something to come out from perm head, Mayora or at least Megane. The three men exchanged looks as if considering a plan and then jumped up turning towards Shun, Umibozu and Pig who were staring at them.

"Ok, now then the next and the hardest challenge. You have to…"

Gin-chan didn't get to finish as the door to the ballroom opened and everyone in the room freeze with horror filled background as they looked at the door and saw two most dangerous, should-definitely-never-mess-with kind of guys standing and looking at the group with their idiotic smile and poker face.

"Should we help you with the last challenge, Danna?" Sougo said with deadpanned bored voice.

"Sadist? Kamu-nii?" Kagura shouted with surprise, her eyes wide. "Why are you here? AND TOGETHER?"

"I met nii-chan on the way, it seemed like we were both coming here, so we came together." Sougo explained with bored voice and poker face, holding his bazooka over his shoulder.

Kamui smiled his antenna twitching. "So? What's the last competition Samurai-san?"

"I'll tell you nii-chan." Okita smirked. "It's called the game of killing people you hate the most."

"I like it!"

"I know you do."

"Kamui, my idiotic useless son. What the hell are you doing here?" Baldy glared at him.

Kamui smiled looking at him. "Father it's surprising to see you here, but looks like I can kill all the people on my list today."

"Bring it on!" Umibozu commanded preparing his parasol.

Okita scratched his head unsheathing his sword. "You deal with baldy then nii-chan, I have an OC to kill."

Shun smirked also preparing his umbrella. "Lets see what you can do then."

The four men was about to attack as the hotel manager stepped in between them stopping the group just few steps away from each other. "Excuse me, but if none of you have enough money to pay back the hotel the damage you're about to cause, I must ask you to take your fight outside."

Everyone in the room looked at each other and then with a sigh and shrug started leaving the ballroom. None of them had enough money for that. If they did they would have bought a life worth of parfait and mayonnaise.

Ballroom now was empty; Shinpachi catches Hijikata and Gintoki by their collar pulling them inside the room once again.

"What the hell Patsuan?" Perm head glared at him.

"Gin-san, Hijikata-san I think I have a plan on how to end this, but I need your help." Patchy explained.

"Huh?" Devil vice-commander looked at him frowning. "What plan? And why should I be involved?"

"Gin-san comes with me. Hijikata-san gets the Pig lady." Megane ordered running away together with Gin-san.

"WHY SHOULD I BE THE ONE TO GET HER? AND WHAT IS THE PLAN?" Mayora shouted.

"I have to explain everything to Gin-san, but you can follow up fast later, right mister-make-up-an-excuse?" Megane shouted running to another room.

"WHO THE HELL IS MISTER-MAKE-UP-AN-EXCUSE? STOP GIVING ME WEIRD NAMES BASTARDS!" Toushi shouted, but then lit a cigarette biting on it with irritation. "Damn it, Sougo owe me for life after this."

 

* * *

 

Preview for the next chapter.

It was a chaos in the park, with men in black, Shun's guards fighting Shinsengumi officers with Otae and Kondo as the leaders and at some point even Kyuubei and Tsukky joined them. Plus, Kamui was fighting Umibozu and Sougo was against Shun. In the heat of the moment when no one was certain who was a friend or an enemy, Abuto and Kagura came back to back crashing down another ten men.

"Aren't you worried that they will kill each other? Those four are doing it all for you, you know?" Abuto smirked at the girl behind him. "This is your game and the right answer should be given by you."

"Those four idiots can kill each other for all I care or die in some unknown alley, but I won't let them do it here, in front of me!" China hit another man charging at her. "It will be too troublesome to clean up afterwards."

"You two siblings are never honest."

"Kagura-chan!" Megane run to her, with Toushi and Gin-chan walking lazily and then joining the fight as someone tried to hit them.

"What's wrong Patchy?" Kagura looked at him unimpressed.

Shinpachi stopped in front of her trying to catch his breath before saying. "We found a way to stop this Kagura-chan." And he whispered something to Yato girl's ear that made her smirk with triumph.

"Looks like you just made your choice." Abuto sigh realizing that in more than one-way Kagura was just like her brother especially while plotting something and smiling like that, looking as if they just reversed their characters.


	7. About fathers and daughters, brothers and lovers.

Inside the hotel.

Pig lady walked right behind the devil vice-commander right to where Gintoki and Shinpachi were standing. A while back when she was about to follow Shun and the others outside Toushi catch her and dragged her back to hotel saying that 'He doesn't want to see her hurt by all this'. (Or that's what she wanted to believe he said.) Hearing her sweet Mayora say those words Ham was so overjoyed that she followed without a second thought.

Now the two of them were walking through the long hallway towards her most beloved silver knight and Megane.

"Gin-san? What's wrong bringing me here suddenly?" Pig asked with curiosity.

Gin-chan suddenly went to 'Host' mode acting like one of the Shoujo manga characters.

"My dear Ham woman!" Gintoki said desperately trying to sound realistic. "All those women are nothing, in front of you my fluffy thing." He pulled Pig lady into a hug. "I finally realized that you are my destiny. I love you."

Ham blushed till her ears overjoyed and at the same time surprised. "G-Gin-san?"

"Tch." Hijikata clicked his tongue approaching the two and grabbing the pig he pulled her away from perm head and towards himself. He was also in 'host' mode right now acting like one of the Shoujo manga characters.

"You must be out of your mind Yorozuya. After gathering all that harem of women you still dare to say that you want her as well. Stop fucking around, she is mine!" He smiled making the Pig blush harder unable to utter ever a single word.

"BASTARD! HANDS OFF!" He pulled the ham away from Mayora. "She loves me more, so she is mine."

"Heh. That's what you think. She will definitely choose me." Devil vice-commander smirked.

Ham's eyes shine with pink hearts, as she couldn't believe that her two knights were fighting for her. But then she covered her mouth with teary eyes looking away. "No, Gin-san, Toushi please don't fight for me."

"Then tell us who you choose." Hijikata hugged her.

Silver samurai pulled her away from him and embraced the pig. "You will choose me, right fluffy pumpkin?"

"B-but… I…."

"Heh." Mayora smirked like devil. "Even if she choose you it's impossible for the two of you to be together."

Gintoki frowned at the man and Pig lady looked with curiosity. "Hm, why?"

Perm head let her go with sigh. "As much as I hate it, but he is telling the truth. My fluffy Pig…" He takes her hands in his showing a hurt expression. "My soul is breaking, but I have to give you away, to this man." He let go of her pushing her right into Mayora's arms.

Don't make me sound like a bad guy bastard! Hijikata thought as he hugged the Pig lady from the back.

Ham's eyes went wide. "G-Gin-san! Wait! What's going on?" She shouted with tears.

Silver samurai looked away with fake hurt eyes. (He's really good at playing Shoujo manga guy.) "In Edo… There is a law banding the parents to get married if their children are already married to each other."

"Eh?" Toushi arched a brow. Couldn't you think of something better, Bakazuya?

She will never fell for this. Shinpachi sighs giving up hope on his leader.

"Gin-san?" Pig mumbled and then run from Toushi to Gintoki clinging on his kimono with tearful eyes. "How can this be Gin-san? Why did this happen to us?"

SHE FELL FOR THIS? Just how stupid is this woman? Both Mayora and Megane thought at the same time.

Gin-chan grabbed her hands taking them off, but not letting go. "Yes, now that I finally realized my feelings we must separate. Be happy with Oogushi-kun."

"Who the hell is Oogushi?" Devil vice-commander said with anger mark on his forehead.

Perm head pushed Pig lady away and turned to leave with a usual Shoujo manga ocean waves background and tragic music while Pig was standing there with tearful eyes. "Sayonara, my cute Piggy."

Toushi hugged her. "Don't worry about that idiot. Let's be happy together!"

"Toushi…" Ham woman looked at him with tearful eyes, but then pushed away grabbing Gintoki's kimono and stopping him. "Gin-san wait! There is a way out! I'll save our love!"

"Huh?" Silver samurai turned around to look at the woman smiling so hopefully. "What do you mean?"

"Is it possible to stop now?" Hijikata approached the two.

Shinpachi also commented near the trio. "How can Umibozu-san so easily accept that? After all it's him who suggest it first."

Pig lady shook her head. "No, Umi-chan would have never agreed to it, he never thought of Shun-chan as someone worthy for Kagura."

At that three men frowned, but let her continue. "Well, you see, Shun-chan he… Gave Umi-chan a little medicine, so that he will agree to it."

"HE DRUGGED HIM?" Patchy shouted.

Ham lady gave a troubled smile and continued. "Sort of. You see there is special drink for Yato clan, we use it most on our enemies, injecting it in them through our bullets and then they obey our every will. So Shun-chan made that kind of a drink for Umi and made him drink it."

"He was hypnotized?" Mayora commented.

Pig nodded. "Yeah and after he was paralyzed for couple of minutes Shun-chan told him to agree on this marriage and he did."

"How can we stop the effect of the drug?" Megane asked curious.

"Well, you kind of have to… Hit him in the head hard enough, so he will bleed and then he will get back to himself." Then she mumbled. "If he doesn't die first."

"THAT'S ALL IT SEEMS TOO EASY TO BE REAL." Shinpachi shouted.

"Huh?" Gin-chan said picking his ear; he and Toushi were back to normal. "Try to do that Patsuan without getting killed and then talk like it's easy."

Mayora bite down on his cigarette. "Well, we have two psycho-sadistic-idiots who will gladly do that." Gin-chan nodded.

"Now Gin-san…" Pig's eyes shine with pink heart she herself smiling bright as she jumped on Gintoki to embrace him. "We can be together forever!"

"Um… Pig-san, I can't breathe." Shinpachi mumbled.

"Hm?" Pig looked at him surprised, it looks like she was hugging Megane instead of Silver samurai, and then screamed jumping away. "Where is my dear Gin-san and Toushi?"

"They left a minute ago."

Pig looked at him with terrified eyes tears filling up. "Oh, no! You heartless villain, you were trying to take advantage of me, right? Oh, no! Someone help!"

Vein popping out Patchy shouted. "LIKE I'LL EVER DO THAT? AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING HEARTLESS?"

(Umm, Shin-chan?)

Megane glared at the camera. "What?"

(We have to continue with the chapter, so lets leave together, k? *Smile*)

"Oh, well. Sure why not, lets go." Shinpachi turned around walking away.

(Eh? *Surprised* Shin-chan? Aren't you going to shout at me for breaking the wall?)

Patsuan shrugged. "What's the point? You will just switch the scene while I talk."

(*Nod* True.)

Anger mark appearing Shinpachi mumbled with irritation. "At least try to deny it!"

 

* * *

 

Outside.

It was a chaos in the park, with men in black, Shun's guards fighting Shinsengumi officers with Otae and Kondo as the leaders and at some point even Kyuubei and Tsukky joined them. Plus, Kamui was fighting Umibozu and Sougo was against Shun. In the heat of the moment when no one was certain who was a friend or an enemy, Abuto and Kagura came back to back crashing down another ten men.

"Aren't you worried that they will kill each other? Those four are doing it all for you, you know?" Abuto smirked at the girl behind him. "This is your game and the right answer should be given by you."

"Those four idiots can kill each other for all I care or die in some unknown alley, but I won't let them do it here, in front of me!" China hit another man charging at her. "It will be too troublesome to clean up afterwards."

"You two siblings are never honest."

"Kagura-chan!" Megane run to her, with Toushi and Gin-chan walking lazily and then joining the fight as someone tried to hit them.

"What's wrong Patchy?" Kagura looked at him unimpressed.

Shinpachi stopped in front of her trying to catch his breath before saying. "We found a way to stop this Kagura-chan." And he whispered something to Yato girl's ear that made her smirk with triumph.

"Looks like you just made your choice." Abuto sigh realizing that in more than one-way Kagura was just like her brother especially while plotting something and smiling like that, looking as if they just reversed their characters.

Kagura climbed on a bench so that everyone will see her and shoot to the sky with Sougo's bazooka. Everyone stopped whatever they were doing and looked at her. Taking a deep breath China ordered.

"Rules of the game changed! Right now, I swear that I will belong to the one who will beat my father!"

Umibozu looked at his daughter with surprised eyes. "Kagura-chan? Why are you doing this to me? Do you hate me?"

Instead of answering Yato girl picked her ear coming down from the bench and standing beside Abuto.

At her statement Sougo arched a brow and Kamui kept smiling as he said. "Well, I don't mind, since he is my opponent to begin with."

"Now I'm challenging him too." Okita prepared his sword to attack.

"Lets see who can win then, Sadist-kun."

"Fine by me."

"Keep talking, Kagura-chan is mine!" Shun shouted as he charged at Baldy, the later taking a serious pose dodging the guy's attacks like it was nothing.

After the first move everyone begin to fight again. Kamui and Sougo attacking Umibozu and along the way fighting with Shun and each other. Because even though they were on this together Sadist and Psycho-nii were not friends, they were on each other's "To kill lists", well taking only the second place after Hijikata (For Sougo) and Samurai-san (For Kamui), so they would never lose a chance to challenge each other as soon as they meet.

While they were fighting though Kagura, Abuto and Shinpachi were sitting on the bench not far and watching with bored expressions. Kagura was eating sukobu; Shinpachi listening to Otsu song and Abuto was just sitting hands crossed over his chest.

"Shouldn't you be worried about who will win?" Mop head asked from little Yato girl.

Kagura didn't bothered to look at him; she just kept staring at the crowd with a bored face. "Nah, it doesn't matter who wins as long as Baldy is back to his senses. It would be troublesome if he doesn't since all this fighting will go on forever."

"Aren't you worried for the winner? It was stupid to offer yourself as a price."

China smiled like a devil and Abuto shook his head knowing that nothing good will come out of this.

Along with the three men attacking Umibozu, there were also Shun's guards those men in black, who were trying to help their boss by attacking, but Shinsengumi, Tsukky, Kyuubei and some more amazons that followed their leaders were also there challenging the men in black.

While Tsukyo was busy dealing with one of the guards, she didn't sense the enemy behind and was almost stabbed when Gin-chan suddenly appeared out of nowhere and hit the man with his sword sending him flying.

Tsukky looked at him surprised. "Gintoki?"

"Just how many more times should I save your Amazon ass? It's getting annoying."

Perm head looked at her with dead fish eyes. Blond looked away from him feeling irritation. "I don't need your help."

"Is that so?" Silver samurai said little annoyed, but then smirked and hit another man who was ready to attack behind Tsukky. "I think you do."

"Shouldn't you be protecting Otae instead of me?"

"Huh?"

"I heard she is playing your 'lover' in this, so shouldn't you be with her? Or your game will fail." She ordered and he smirked getting close to her.

"Could it be Tsukky that… Are you jealous?"

Blushing till her ears Tsukyo hit Gin-chan with three kunai and walked away beating up every man on her way that tried to stop her.

Finally the fight was coming to an end. With all men in black beaten by Amazons and Shinsengumi there were only four men standing, Sadistic Captain right now fighting Shun, Psycho-nii fighting Umibozu.

Tricking his father Kamui almost hit him, when Sougo stopped him and the two now challenging each other, but when Shun went against Baldy they both attacked him. Umibozu was amazing being able to fight all of them without a scratch, but he was getting tired, since he wasn't as young and full of energy as the other three. Thinking that while the two sadists challenge Shun he can take a rest, Baldy let down his guard a little and didn't realize that using this second Kamui attacked.

He knew he was too late to dodge the attack, but he still raised his umbrella when everything went black. He felt blood run down his face as the silence fell everywhere, everyone looking at him or so he thought.

Kamui smiled one of his idiotic smiled. "My~, what an unexpected turn."

"I can't believe…" Shun mumbled.

"I lost to a dog!" Okita looked with poker face and complete his sentence with his usual deadpanned voice.

Kagura smiled brightly. "Sadaharu!"

Just a second before Kamui hit his father Sadaharu already had the Baldy's head in his mouth and his teeth pierced through his skin making him bleed.

"Sadaharu!" China run to her beloved dog with happiness, seeing that cute doggy let go of the girl's father and run to his owner licking her cheek as she hugged him tightly. "My sweet Sadaharu, you're my hero! Now I'm yours forever!"

Psycho-nii's smiled didn't waver as he watched his sister and her dog happily hugging. Then he looked at his devoted nanny who approached him. "My, my looks like I was dumped, want me back?"

"No, thank you." Abuto said with calm voice. "Now that this is over let's go, we have a meeting."

"But I still have to finish my fight with my father."

"Do it later."

Kamui's antenna twitched as he asked smiling. "Why are you angry? Jealous that I ignored you for a while?"

Mop head raised a brow at his captain not saying anything as they both walked away. Shinpachi sigh with relief seeing them leave since it would be troublesome and impossible to stop if Kamui and Umibozu started to fight seriously.

Sadist pats the dog gently as Sadaharu looked at him with cute eyes, after the first arc they become friends a little at least. "Now that this is over, lets go China."

Kagura looked at him surprised but then her look turned to stare. "Where are we going? I have no intention of leaving with you!"

"I didn't ask you." Sadist smirked as he picked up Yato girl putting her over his shoulder, then he jumped on Sadaharu, so that the doggy will take them away towards Shinsengumi HQ.

"Gin-san? Shouldn't we stop them?" Shinpachi asked troubled.

Perm head picked his ear. "Well…"

"Gin-san!" Pig shouted jumping towards her White knight with her eyes shinning like two pink hearts.

Goose bumps running all over him he said. "Have to run!" Then he pulled Tsukky close to himself and holding her hand shouted. "Go find someone else! I'm on a date!"

Tsukyo blushed like crazy as she run together with Silver samurai away from the Ham lady.

Pig woman stopped surprised. "Eh? Gin-san?"

"My, my looks like Gin-san cheated on me." Otae smiled putting her hand over her cheek.

"That guy is an idiot." Toushi bite down on his cigarette standing next to Tae-chan.

"TOUSHI! Let's be happy together! Forever!" This time Ham woman was running towards him.

Eyes going wide Hijikata dropped his cigarette. "NO WAY IN HELL! Look I'm also on a date!" Then pulled Otae to himself and holding her hand run away towards the same direction Gin-chan and Tsukky did.

"Oh my, Hijikata-san, you're so bold." Tae smiled running right behind the devil vice-commander.

"Toushi! How could you do this to me?" Kondo cried running after the two, Kyuubei right behind him both trying to catch up with the Boss Lady and Mayora, while Ayumu were running after Kyuubei shouting. "Waka~!"

Watching all this Shun cursed. "Damn that bastard! How dare he take Kagura-chan away from me? He will pay for this!"

"Shun-kun!" A threatening voice came from behind him, FF parody looked and felt fear as he saw Umibozu staring at him with a maximum kill intend, his eyes blazing with anger and blood gushing from his head. "U-Uncle Blady…"

"How dare you force me to hurt my little daughter? You even drugged me."

Shun sweat trying to escape. "No, it's not like that…"

Umibozu catches him by collar and pulled after himself towards the shadows since he doesn't want anyone else to see horrible things that will soon happen to the Yato boy. "Lets have a little talk, shall we?"

"NO, MOTHER HELP!" Shun cried for help, but his mother was too busy trying to figure out where Toushi and Gin-chan run away.

Megane sighs, looking at everyone leaving from the battlefield that was in chaos a minute ago. Not saying anything he turned away and walked back home, he was too tired to even comment and get angry at everything that happened in here.

(Sorry, Shin-chan, I'll definitely find you a cute girlfriend next time.)

Patchy waved his hand in dismissal. "Sure, whatever."

(Eh? You don't believe me? *Sad* I'm hurt!).

 

* * *

 

Shinsengumi barracks. Sougo's room.

"LET ME GO YOU JACKASS!" Kagura struggled as Sougo finally put her down inside his room and pushed her against the wall. Putting both his arms on either side of her head and his knee in between her thighs restraining her from moving. "What the hell are you doing, Sadist?"

"I want an explanation. Who the hell told you that you could hide something from me and get away from it just like that?"

China arched a brow. "What do you mean idiot?"

Okita smirked. "No matter what you do, you will never be able to hide it from me China. Didn't you learn it yet?"

"Get down from your high horse dumbass!" Yato girl ordered pissed.

Sadist got their faces close their foreheads bumping against each other. "Answer me China. Whom do you belong to?"

"Huh? I don't belong to anyone!" She barked back with annoyance.

He smirked. "We'll see!" He pulled her with him throwing her on futon and coming on top of her. "If you dare to hide from me something like this again or trick me, you will only wish that you never met me."

"I already do!" Yato girl struggled to get her hands free from Sougo's grip. "Let go!"

Okita came down on her, brushing their lips together for a second in a teasing kiss then he raised up a little grinning. "You're mine China! Never forget that!"

"LIKE HELL MORON! I'LL NEVER BE YOURS!" Kagura shouted, but Sougo just shut her up with a kiss.

Later on, Kagura was able to leave the barracks and Sougo returned to his job, but only after three nights and two days of restless hours.


End file.
